The Frontstretch: Top 10 Reasons Michael Waltrip Won't Retire by Frontstretch Staff -- Wednesday April 13, 2011

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Top 10 Reasons Michael Waltrip Won't Retire

Frontstretch Top Ten · Frontstretch Staff · Wednesday April 13, 2011

 

He may not be racing full-time, but Michael Waltrip keeps popping up, entering his self-owned No. 15 Toyota for this weekend’s Talladega race.

10. Ken Schrader hasn’t, why should Mikey?

9. Because he’s in love with himself and can’t stand to hear anything but the sound of his own voice. Oh wait, that’s his brother…

8. Because there just aren’t enough wrecks without him.

7. In our best Richard Gere voice from An Officer And A Gentleman – I got nowhere else to go!!!

6. As long as there are restrictor plates, there’s a place for drivers who can’t use brakes.

5. Because his brother Darrell needs someone other than Dale Jr. and Kyle Busch to be biased towards.

4. He has to have some reason for NAPA to keep him in their commercials.

3. Can’t afford to now that Buffy probably owns half of his half of MWR.

2. Like Sammy Hagar, he just can’t drive 55.

1. Because as long as restrictor plates are still used, there’s always a chance at Daytona 500 victory #3!

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AnnieMack
04/13/2011 10:46 AM
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Michael and Darrell will always be around. Even when Mikey finally realizes he can’t drive, he’ll be in the booth hogging up all the oxygen in the room just like his brother. Neither of them are funny, but they sure crack themselves up.

DoninAjax
04/13/2011 01:29 PM
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Mikey won’t retire until Darrell leaves the booth and Mikey takes his place.

Bette
04/13/2011 01:31 PM
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Love Kenny!

WalNutzFan
04/13/2011 03:27 PM
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I don’t think it’s funny when you throw Mikey and Buffy under the bus. I am offended by this list. If you can’t say anything positive – - – SHUT UP ! ! !

SandrainIND
04/13/2011 05:12 PM
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GO MIKEY!!!!

Lunar Tunes
04/13/2011 05:30 PM
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OMG!!!!!! WalNutzFan is offended!!!! How dare the writers at Frontstretch.com be sooooooo insensitive and publish something that someone may find offensive!!??!!!

WalNutzFan….you got a long hard life ahead of you if you get all bent out of shape over that. I suggest you keep you prescription for your Prozac handy!

LastLapLady
04/14/2011 03:39 PM
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When will Nascar randomly Drug test Mikey b-4 a broadcast? He sure acts like he is “on” something!

Chris
04/14/2011 10:00 PM
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Number 8 it is!!

ddsbstrb
04/16/2011 07:09 AM
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Walnutz Fan must be drinking that Wall-Banger Kook-Aid, once again. Is is autobiographical-novel in the $5 bin at Sam’s Club, yet?

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