The Frontstretch: Top Ten Alternative Punishments For Kyle Busch by Frontstretch Staff -- Wednesday November 9, 2011

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Top Ten Alternative Punishments For Kyle Busch

Frontstretch Staff · Wednesday November 9, 2011


A weekend parking, $50,000 fine and probation? It could have been worse for Kyle Busch… just look to the right…

10. Must endure daily, three-hour lectures on “the power of staying positive” by Michael “Motormouth” Waltrip.

9. Forced to subsist on failed M&M candy that melts in his hand, not in his mouth until further notice.

8. Order Kyle to deliver pink slips, unarmed, to all the Kevin Harvick, Inc. employees losing their jobs.

7. Has to hand carry 50,000 dollar fine in pennies in a burlap sack from Mooresville to NASCAR’s Daytona Beach headquarters before competing at Phoenix.

6. Listen to brother Kurt berate his crew on the radio on repeat for 24 hours.

5. One month working on Jennifer Jo Cobb’s crew. Then, maybe Busch will finally learn the meaning of hard work. 

4. Clawing his way into contention for the 2012 Sprint Cup championship, then have someone nudge him into the wall and oops! Spin him out and ruin those title chances. It’s only fair.

3. Serve as Kurt Busch’s crew chief under suspension, with the stipulation he can never be on time for pre-race inspection.

2. Must give speeches to second graders about how to play nice. No, wait, we got that one backwards: must receive speeches from second graders about how to play nice.

1. 36 races in the pink car with kittens and little baby seals.

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11/09/2011 11:14 AM

5 and 2!

old farmer
11/09/2011 10:40 PM

0 and 10—as always.

Don Mei
11/10/2011 10:03 AM

You forgot “dress up in an M&M costume and march in the Macy’s parade Thanksgiving day in New York,” where no one cares.

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