The Frontstretch: Top Ten Reasons Dodge is Really Leaving NASCAR by Beth Lunkenheimer -- Wednesday August 8, 2012

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Top Ten Reasons Dodge is Really Leaving NASCAR

Beth Lunkenheimer · Wednesday August 8, 2012


Sick of getting beat every week by some goofball in a beard and a clown wig.

10. MOPAR engines only work their best when fully carbureted. Screw this fuel injection crap, we’re outta here!

9. Tired of incessant comparisons to “Dodge-Em” bumper cars every stinking time someone used the chrome horn.

8.NASCAR? We don’t need no stinking NASCAR!”

7. Top execs running the company DO have ADHD—we’re in! We’re out! We’re in again! We’re out!—and were afraid they too would test positive for Adderall.

6. NASCAR’s refusal to consider the Fiat 500 with 6.3 Hemi power as next year’s Nationwide entry.

5. Decals simply becoming too expensive to make a kit car look like a Charger.

4. Fiat actually stands for “Fix it again, Tony” and Stewart wasn’t interested in switching makes.

3. Figured if they can’t have Allmendinger, they don’t want nobody!

2. Couldn’t settle petty differences with Richard to keep the program going forward.

1. Didn’t realize zero percent interest programs would also apply to their brand after Penske said he was leaving.

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08/08/2012 06:24 AM

11) ran out of grille decals.

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