The Frontstretch: Top Ten Things Wild Card Hopefuls Have Up Their Sleeves for Richmond by Frontstretch Staff -- Wednesday September 5, 2012

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Top Ten Things Wild Card Hopefuls Have Up Their Sleeves for Richmond

Frontstretch Staff · Wednesday September 5, 2012

 

Put itching powder in Jimmie Johnson’s helmet so he gets distracted and causes a three-car wreck…oh, wait, someone already used that one…

10. Spare helmets and water bottles on standby… just in case.

9. Cans of sardines mysteriously turning up under driver’s seats on a hot night.

8. A jet dryer all fueled up and ready to blow.

7. Two words – Kevin Harvick.

6. James Bond-esque control panel in the car with buttons marked smoke screen, oil slick, ball bearings, thumbtacks and hand grenades.

5. Brian France’s little-known idea for racing excitement—quicksand traps in the middle of the corners.

4. Helicopters carrying pianos which will be dropped on rival contenders if said contenders are running well.

3. A “loose” oil line that conveniently drops oil in the competition’s path.

2. Lots of brownies and chocolate chip cookies show up in competitors’ haulers…but those aren’t exactly chocolate chips…

1. Local Walmart suddenly inexplicably out of both peanuts and green spray paint.

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Andy
09/05/2012 09:34 AM
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Only Hendrick has enough money for all that.

Rick’s also sent over scores of inexperienced reporters to pester Kyle with questions in hopes that he’ll melt down like his brother.

Poor Kyle. The only trick up his sleeve is those spinners that come out of the center on the wheel and slash your tires.

Sherri T
09/05/2012 01:29 PM
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You forgot bribing an up and coming start and parker to run a competitor into the wall “accidentally”…

Joe..
09/05/2012 04:35 PM
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Hey Frontstretch, much better this week. You must be trying to get on the good side of Old farmer.

Lunar Tunes
09/06/2012 12:19 AM
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Thing about old farmer is, he NEVER comments, one way or the other when the list is written by ‘staff’. I guess he only has an opinion every other week. Check the archives.

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