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Frontstretch Staff · Wednesday September 5, 2012
10. Spare helmets and water bottles on standby… just in case.
9. Cans of sardines mysteriously turning up under driver’s seats on a hot night.
8. A jet dryer all fueled up and ready to blow.
7. Two words – Kevin Harvick.
6. James Bond-esque control panel in the car with buttons marked smoke screen, oil slick, ball bearings, thumbtacks and hand grenades.
5. Brian France’s little-known idea for racing excitement—quicksand traps in the middle of the corners.
4. Helicopters carrying pianos which will be dropped on rival contenders if said contenders are running well.
3. A “loose” oil line that conveniently drops oil in the competition’s path.
2. Lots of brownies and chocolate chip cookies show up in competitors’ haulers…but those aren’t exactly chocolate chips…
1. Local Walmart suddenly inexplicably out of both peanuts and green spray paint.
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Only Hendrick has enough money for all that.
Rick’s also sent over scores of inexperienced reporters to pester Kyle with questions in hopes that he’ll melt down like his brother.
Poor Kyle. The only trick up his sleeve is those spinners that come out of the center on the wheel and slash your tires.
You forgot bribing an up and coming start and parker to run a competitor into the wall “accidentally”…
Hey Frontstretch, much better this week. You must be trying to get on the good side of Old farmer.
Thing about old farmer is, he NEVER comments, one way or the other when the list is written by ‘staff’. I guess he only has an opinion every other week. Check the archives.
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