The Frontstretch: Top 10 Alternative Punishments For Jeff Gordon by Amy Henderson and Tom Bowles -- Wednesday November 14, 2012

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Top 10 Alternative Punishments For Jeff Gordon

Amy Henderson and Tom Bowles · Wednesday November 14, 2012


Has to spend one evening every week taking care of Jimmie’s beard with Just For Men and a little tiny comb. Also, must polish Jimmie’s Sprint Cup trophies for a month.

10. A deadly combo of the mullet and the porn ‘stache become mandatory for all of 2013.

9. Must hold Brad Keselowski’s cell phone during every race.

8. Ordered to become Kurt Busch’s emergency public relations representative, hired for inappropriate / crisis situations only.

7. Must act as Nur Ali’s permanent driver coach.

6. Trade rides with Dave Blaney for 2013 to see how much talent really matters these days.

5. Clint Bowyer gets another shot at running up to that hauler door… with no cops or crew to stop him.

4. Has to sit at the children’s table at Sprint Cup banquet.

*3.*Forced to sit through 48 straight hours of Jimmie Johnson’s championship celebrations, set on a continuous loop.

2. Must write “I will not put other drivers in the wall if they are running for a championship” 100 times before he’s allowed on track for practice every week…

1. Has to bring back the DuPont rainbow scheme until NASCAR decides he’s learned his lesson.

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