The Frontstretch: NASCAR Stuff We Can't Make Up by Becca Gladden -- Wednesday October 31, 2007

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NASCAR Stuff We Can't Make Up

Becca Gladden · Wednesday October 31, 2007


In our newest feature, Senior Staff Writer Becca Gladden scours the NASCAR news front to bring you the week’s curious, offbeat, and just plain wacky news from the intriguing world of big-time stock car racing. Trust us, folks, these stories are all true – we just couldn’t make this stuff up!

- According to an article on, the makers of Meaty Bones dog snacks are actively courting NASCAR dads – a demographic they define as “middle-aged, working-class men outside of urban areas who frequent car races.” Nothing like a little flattery to get consumers to open their wallets, huh? In order to attract this target audience, the company created an online game which proclaims itself “The Greatest Game in the History of Dogs. Ever.” You’re invited to “mark your territory” by hitting moving objects with a stream of water while missing the pop-up cats. Really.

- Just one week after the highly publicized tussle between Roush Fenway Racing teammates Carl Edwards and Matt Kenseth, the two ran exactly identical qualifying laps at Atlanta, down to the hundredth of a second – each driver posting a 189.82 mile per hour, 29.21 second lap. Cue the Twilight Zone music, please.

- Speaking of the Edwards-Kenseth incident, Mark Martin said, “Being in that garage is just like going to high school. You’ve got the people you like, you’ve got the people you tolerate, and you’ve got the people you can’t stand. It’s the same thing.” But there is apparently no truth to the rumor that Edwards hides out in the garage and steals Kenseth’s lunch money.

- Tony Stewart attended a Halloween party Saturday night wearing an Elvis Presley costume. According to Tony, he was only able to pull off the “‘70s fat Elvis” as opposed to the ’50s thin Elvis. Which makes me wonder … what happened to that $17,000 worth of exercise equipment Stewart purchased back in 2006 to help him get in shape?

- And did you know that both Elvis Presley and Tony Stewart owned pet monkeys? Elvis’ chimp was named Scatter … Tony’s is named Mojo.

- Finally, here is another indispensable item from the Superstore. Now, the fastidious NASCAR fan can be the proud owner of a Dale Earnhardt Remote Control Robotic Vacuum. “Rev up your engines and get started on your chores with this race car-shaped Dale Earnhardt Track Vac NASCAR Robotic Vacuum. This radio frequency remote controlled vacuum has a large capacity dust bin, air filters, a ‘pit road’ charging station with remote storage, 5 preset patterns for automatic cleaning, and an interactive auto-on start-up and power-down. The low profile vacuum also features a race mode for fun without the vacuuming!” Your cost? Just $279.99.

Like I said, we just can’t make this stuff up. Until next week …

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Today on the Frontstretch:
Swan Racing Announces Restructuring, No. 26 & No. 30 ‘Sold’ Off
Tech Talk with Tony Gibson: Taking Stock Of Danica Patrick In Year Two
Vexing Vito: Three Drivers In Need of a Role Reversal
Going By the Numbers: Top-10 NASCAR Variety Hard To Come By In…
Truckin’ Thursdays: Lessons Learned Just Two Races In
Fantasy Insider: Team Revelations For NASCAR’s Short Tracks



©2000 - 2008 Becca Gladden and Thanks for visiting the Frontstretch!

11/01/2007 03:16 PM

Another winner, Becca

11/01/2007 09:21 PM

YIKES! Becca!

I went to to try out the video game. It’s a porn site.

Here’s the link for the game:

What I don’t understand is why you lose points fro “marking” the cats.


Becca Gladden is no longer a contributor to the Frontstretch, but you can see all her past articles on herbiography and archive page.