NASCAR's Version of Reality

[Chris]

Uhhhhhhh,    .......... interesting?     

HUDSON HORNET,.. where you been
It's about TIME you got back on here and complained about NASCAR with the rest of us... lol
Nice to see ya

[skool]

HUDSON HORNET,.. where you been
It's about TIME you got back on here and complained about NASCAR with the rest of us... lol
Nice to see ya

I second those sentiments!!!!!!   Don't be a stranger MY FRIEND!

[Tyyrus]

Hudson Hornet makes a Shocking Return ... Welcome Back Dude !

[HUDSON HORNET]

HUDSON HORNET,.. where you been

Where I've been is so secretive and secluded that even those of us who were there didn't know where there was. Doors were solid and locked tight. Windows were high on the walls and blocked to prevent light coming in and anyone lookin' out.

There was a constant looped audio feed of yesteryear NASCAR pre-race shows, but all we got to hear were the best of the worst singers murderin' The Star Spangled Banner just before the command for the gentlemen to start their engines.

There were big screen TVs in every room all playin' NASCAR races 24/7/365, but as near as we could determine, every recorded race ended about 3 to 5 laps shy of the finish, --- as the yellow flag was displayed for debris on the track each time. Then they cut away to a commercial,.......... and never returned to finish the race.
Just the next singin' star killin' the National Anthem in their own personal style.
Prior to then, I hadn't realized there were so many ways for self-centered, tin-eared legends in their own mind to disrespect the sanctity of a National symbol, --- and in public no less.

All our meals consisted of hot dogs, over cooked hamburgers with rubbery fries, popcorn, nachos, pizza slices and cotton candy with flat beer chasers ---- served on pee-kup tailgates. However, in order to get fed, it was necessary to stand in long lines that eventually ended at an entry turn style where we were randomly detained, our wallets relieved of any money, and then, searched for Formula 1 readin' material. Or so it was claimed. But those of us with inquiring minds suspect we were really bein' searched for a NASCAR official's missing NASCAR Rules Book, rumored to have disappeared just after Jimmie J crossed the finish line in the 10th chase race, and last race of '09, --- causing Jeremy Maypole to pitch a hissy fit and register a protest with NASCAR officials for actions detrimental to rock star casing, ---- illegally winning multiple championships all in a row.

YeaH, yeah, we all realized there's no such thing as a rock star casing rule in NASCAR, but as absurd as it sounded, we figured it just might BE another new NASCAR rule that NASCAR neglected to mention, ................ again. As it turned out, we never got a definitive answer, and by then Jeremy had passed out under the life-sized, color poster of Buckshot Roy Jones, ....... no doubt as a direct result of abusing some substance to enhance performance for up to 4 hours.

It's about TIME you got back on here and complained about NASCAR with the rest of us... lol
Nice to see ya

I'll try to complain Chris.
But I haven't been able to complain about NASCAR since I was overheard ranting to a bunch of imitation NASCAR fans. That is, the fans were the real deal, but they concluded that now-a-daze we're not gettin' the original, genuine, unfiltered and undiluted, NASCAR that we were pre-The Brian.

I was on a helluva roll describing The Brian's untimely encounter with those ferocious killer attack palm stumps down thar in Florida, including my version of why those stumps decided it was necessary to spill soda on The Brian's leased Lexus leather interior, soaking his trousers along with several Bow To The Boss Of NASCAR XXXX-L size ball caps custom made from surplus Toyota headliner material.

Mike OH-Hell-Man went on a rampage and started roundin' up any and every one ever known to utter any complaint(s) directed toward NASCAR in general and The Brian in particular, --- for enrollment in a sensitivity enlightenment crash course created for careless communicators. Needless to mention I was among the first picked up for confinement and the last to be shown into the brain washin' room where I got pre-soaked  prior to a double tumble super wash for the unusually heavily soiled sayers of simple truths.

After several cycles and upon drying, I have lost my ability to complain about NASCAR. I don't feel the urge to disagree with The Brian or even question his motives. I just sit down, shut up and watch 43 drivers go fast and turn left.

Am I cured? 

[skool]

Oh damn! They got to him 

[DotheDew88]

Can I have some of whatever he's on to come up with such craziness

[HUDSON HORNET]

Can I have some of whatever he's on to come up with such craziness

You're talkin' 'bout The Brian, ----- right? 

[DotheDew88]

You're talkin' 'bout The Brian, ----- right? 

Of ccourse sweetheart! I miss you

[HUDSON HORNET]

Of course sweetheart! I miss you

SweeTHearT?
Watch it!
Watch it!!
Be careful.   
Don't let on that you think that.
What'll folks think?
I have an image to protect and a reputation to consider,
doncha know.
What if folks start believin' that?
And that makes me blush.
That's not good.   

Why?

Well, you see, ...... truth be knowed, .......,
 ...... just betwixt you and me now, ...... mention this to no one else, ok?.........   
The shade of my blush that I blush when I blush, -- clashes with bright (but not hot) pink.
That's a problem.
I mean, what if folks can imagine me in color?   
Although, ....... it doesn't look bad with (slightly) faded purple, I'm thinkin' goin' 3-tone is over the top just a tad. Especially if two of the three clash.
I wanna keep it more simple.
Basic (slightly) faded purple and bright (but not hot) pink. I'm thinkin' the darker color for the interior and leavin' the exterior one color. That'll save on production costs, not havin' to use masking tape.
The New 2010 HUDSON HORNET ------->     

HeY!
I see you haven't changed your screen name.

I forgot about NASCAR for awhile there, ....... but I always
remembered Frontstretch family.   
Does that make sense?   

Is this a typical off-season lull in activity here?
I've only been poppin' in for a few days now, so I'm not runnin' at lap speed  by a long shot.

How's everythang goin' with you?

[DougS]

Found this nugget on Jayski today while cacthing up.

Less crashes in 2009: For the second consecutive year, crashes and spins were down in NASCAR's Sprint Cup Series. Not since 2002 have there been fewer on-track incidents in the sport's top series, according to numbers compiled by USA TODAY. The results are surprising, given that NASCAR made double-file restarts the norm during the second half of the season, a move to spice up competition at the risk of additional mayhem. There were 195 crashes and spins during NASCAR's 36-race season (5.4 per race) compared to 211 (5.9) last year — an 8.5% drop and the lowest since 2002 (5.2). A closer look at the facts and figures for crash data from the 2009 NASCAR Sprint Cup season:[/b] So why was there still 3 more cautions thrown per race over an entire season?


• 83% of drivers who started Cup Series races in 2009 got their cars to the finish line.
• Accident damage accounted for 97 of the 258 cars (38%) that failed to finish races this season. All but one other non-finisher was the result of mechanical failure. One car was parked.
• Among drivers who drove all 36 races, Matt Kenseth showed the greatest improvement in avoiding accidents. In 2008 Kenseth was involved in 15 incidents and failed to finish three races due to damage. He logged only four incidents this season and his only two DNFs were due to engine trouble. However, Kenseth missed the Chase for the first time in 2009, even after winning the season's first two races.
• Not surprisingly, Martinsville Speedway, Bristol Motor Speedway and Richmond International Raceway, the three shortest tracks on the circuit, recorded the most crashes and spins in 2009.
•NASCAR's longest race of the year, the Coca-Cola 600 at Lowe's Motor Speedway, was one of three events to record only one crash or spin this season. The rain-plagued race, typically NASCAR's longest of the season, only went 227 of a scheduled 400 laps (340.5 of a scheduled 600 miles). The others were the LifeLock 400 at Michigan International Speedway and the Auto Club 500 at Auto Club Speedway, relatively wide two-mile ovals that mirror one another.
• According to NASCAR, competition improved. There were 2,272 more green-flag passes in 2009 than there were in 2008 and 38 more green-flag passes for the lead (863-825) this year.
• Despite an unusually large margin of victory (25.686 seconds) in the second race at Texas Motor Speedway, the average margin of victory in 2009 was 2.003 seconds, closer than the 2.216 margin in 2008.
• This season, 52% of race qualifiers finished races on the lead lap, up from 48% a year ago.
• The caution flag came out an average of 8.4 times per race, down from 8.8 times in 2008 and 10.4 in 2005.[/b] Emphasis mine.
Drivers with the highest total of crashes and spins in NASCAR's Sprint Cup Series:
2009 -- David Stremme
2008 -- Sam Hornish Jr.*
2007 -- David Ragan*
2006 -- J.J. Yeley*
2005 -- Michael Waltrip
2004 -- Robby Gordon
2003 -- Steve Park
2002 -- Steve Park
(* = rookie)(compiled from USA Today and see the Crash Database there)(12-18-2009)

It would seem that NASCAR validates Jeff's math and it also seems that it wants to toot it's own horn in the difference between 8.8 and 8.4 cautions per year.

[skool]

The only difference I can see is that my figures were for the entire decade! Not just this past season. However, Im sure, if I did it all out again, it would be pretty close!   

Just goes to show that I only print the truth!!!!!!

[raceinsider]

Nice job on the details SKOOL.   You really took us to 'skool' .. pardon the pun.  All I know is that counting all those laps sure SHORTCHANGED the fans and the TV audiences.  NA$CAR need to re-think the position of counting all those as real laps. 
Opinions always Welcome !!   RI  8^)

[skool]

Incase no has said it, Welcome to our forum family Raceinsider!  Hope you stick around and post often!!!!!