Effective Immediately! Drug Tests for ALL FS writers!

[skool]

Due to recent controversial articles, all future submissions to be considered for publication on Frontstretch.com MUST be accompanied by a urine sample to be tested for various illegal substances and/or drugs.
There will be NO exceptions!
   Ways to submit a sample
If the article is submitted via hardcaopy i.e. printed on paper, immerse the article in said sample, allow to dry and then send the article by US Mail or other approved courier. Method of application of the sample to the copy is left strictly up to the author.

If the article is submitted via the internet, a jpeg image of the author AND state licensed doctor or nurse (licensed in the state of the author's residence) must be attached to the article. Said jpeg image MUST show both the author and the doctor or nurse in the same frame, one of which MUST be holding the sample in question. The doctor or nurse MUST be either showing a 'thumbs up' (to indicate that the sample in the image has passed) or a 'thumbs down' (indicating the sample has failed.)

Failure to submit a sample or failure of a sample to pass will result in the immediate suspension of the authors posting privileges until such time a sample can be obtained and found to pass the required tests.

All samples submitted become the property of Frontstretch.com and cannot be returned. Test results may be obtained by
submitting a written request to; Preserving Integrity by Sample Submissions, #1 Sealittite Ln,
Yellow River, MI. 64532
Please indicate the name of the author who's test results wish to obtain.

[KurtBuschFan]

no comment.... 

[Chris]

Good thing it's not for ALL of us posters in general....
Oh well.... at least if it was,... we could have our own resident nurse BB take the samples.  MIGHT NOT be so bad.... What ya thing there hun.  :-)

As far as this line...

All samples submitted become the property of Frontstretch.com and cannot be returned

JUST WHY would you all WANT to keep the samples,... and WHAT do you plan on doing with them..??  eeeeewwwwww

[nascarbabe2U]

ROFLMAO.............whew thank gosh I don't write for ya'll I'd be in BIG trouble......


Preserving Integrity by Sample Submissions..............what a hoot!

[IndyCarzGo]

Yeah...  As far as the board goes, They're lible to find my "system" is 90% Black Bush!!!   Best engine coolant ever invented!! LOL

[Colorado NASCAR Fan]

ROFL...OMG...This is too funny.

[Gymmie]

Good thing it's not for ALL of us posters in general....

Don't give 'em any ideas

[AfterShock]

Ya'd think they'd go with the hair test  -- less messy and harder to fake.

Big truck drivers are subjected to random "drops" anytime -- where ever the D.O.T. says so (in a cup, of course). One place in particuliar that likes to call truckers in is the State of South Dakota scale houses. Notorious for tellin' drivers to, "park around back and bring in your log book and all your paperwork", uh-oh.

AfterShock, not to be out smarted, was ready for such an occasion. Yup.
Had a friend loan 'em a vile for a sample, you know, just in case -- right?
Already pre-warmed, 'cause ol' AfterShock plans ahead, yes he does.

This is gonna be too easy, he was thinkin' -- and he might be right.
Sample taken -- on his way. Budda-Bing, Budda-Bang. See ya!

Few days later, ol' AfterShock gets an urgent message.
"Whuzzup?"
Gotta get to the clinic -- pronto (AfterShock was in Nogales, Arizona at the time -- ergo "pronto". Combrende? Si. Gracias amigo).

Kinda worried the otherwise care-free AfterShock, so he did as instructed and headed off to the clinic -- right after the cantina. Good thing too. I'll explain........

After a margareta or two, AfterShock found himself at the clinic door. He entered quietly and shouted, YO! AFTERSHOCK HAS ARRIVED! WHUZZUP?!
Immediately surrounded by a team of white coats -- and not the ones that button and zip up in the back -- this time. Woah! Already they're startin' to examine all over.

"HEY! Knock it off!" Enough is enough already. What's all the fuss about?
 Lemmie tell ya.

They's all excited 'cause they're the first to find a male that's pregnant.
Oh so what?
How was he to know??
The sample in the vile was from his GIRLfriend! What a way to find out AfterShock is the groom at a shotgun wedding.

Could be true! 

[nascarbabe2U]

So that why you're so dang happy............well CONGRATS ! ! 

[skool]

Sample indicated that AfterShock is pregnant!?!

I spose we will be having a bunch of LittleTremors any day now!

[AfterShock]

Sample indicated that AfterShock is pregnant!?!

I spose we will be having a bunch of LittleTremors any day now!

....................................... ....................................... ......................................

"Tremors"?

Like the movie with Reba and Michael Gross?

Gawd! Wouldn't that be somethin'? 

[nascarbabe2U]

Hey Shocky I don't know if you can change this into an avatar to use but it's cool.

[AfterShock]

Hey Shocky I don't know if you can change this into an avatar to use but it's cool.

....................................... ....................................... ......................................

Very cool!

But, alas.........I have no idea how to go about making the change. My computer skills are nill.

[nascarbabe2U]

Hey guess what it works...I tried it.

Save to desktop
go to profiles
click on:     I will upload my own picture:
Choose file
click Change profile
*Poof* it's done

I mean thats if ya wanna get rid of Fred whats his face and use it.

[Chris]

really,... that pic ISN'T good of AfterShock...
Heck fire,... I thought that was him...  gee go figure