Too Hot to Publish Top Ten...

Here's the deal folks.....

What follows is/was my Top Ten submission for this week (8-12-08). As it turns out they were going to publish it, but apparently the subject is too hot at the moment. They really did want to publish it, and I have been told by the powers that be that it may in fact get published in the future, but not right now. Funny thing is, I didn't even know I was stirring a hornets nest! I have been given permission to post it here.

Also, it is very politically incorrect. Don't be offended. If you are, stop it! Below is the ORIGINAL version as I wrote it. When published there will be an edit or two, including an alternate #3 which I will include below.

Top Ten Irrelevant Things The NASCAR Hit Squad Has Dug Up About Mauricia Grant’s Past That They Say Is a “Reflection of Her Character”

Author’s unfortunately necessary, and definitely sad note for those readers with no sense of humor who think I am the ACLU’s and the NAACP’s number one public enemy and yet, insist on reading this anyway: This list is an attempt at humor and nothing more. In fact, none of it is probably true! Don’t get your knickers in a knot or your panties in a wad. It’s not worth it. I know for a fact that those that will be upset know nothing of my character, even though they assume so.

10. Every time her white, male co-workers exposed themselves to her, she squinted real hard and laughed hysterically.

9. Ex roommate reveals she had posters of Brian France all over her room. A definite question of one’s character.

8. She doesn’t like watermelon.

7. Reportedly once told a co-worker that the only reason she became a NASCAR official was because the headset made her feel like Lt. Uhura.

6. She wasn’t as ‘diverse’ as NASCAR thought she was as she had several white friends.

5. Officials, re-checking her resume realize she listed her father as ‘Lou Grant’

4. She failed her high school Ebonics class.

3. As a child she often called her older brother "The Jerk" and ironically, was also born a poor black child.

2. Repeatedly resisted wearing the white Officials uniform, saying it made her feel like a photo “niggative”.

1. Ex boyfriend, Don Imus, filed a restraining order against her after she repeatedly beat him time and time again at the game of H O R S E.

Alternate #3 - As unpopular as it was with her friends, she always insisted that OJ actually did it!