Writing a story.

[Tyyrus]

Bartender , Two Fingers of Black Bush for my Amigo Milo , an a Plate of Fresh Grubs for me ! Were off to Plunder an Pillage !  We will be back by weeks end ifin we don't encounter.....

[skool]

Bartender , Two Fingers of Black Bush for my Amigo Milo , an a Plate of Fresh Grubs for me ! Were off to Plunder an Pillage !  We will be back by weeks end ifin we don't encounter.....

....another tavern 'tween here and there!

[IndyCarzGo]

....another tavern 'tween here and there!

Suddenly the heavy tavern  door flew open.... A gust of wind driven snow entered the room, along with someone clad in a huge furry parka that resembled one of those crazy polar bears ( i think it was a bear named Paula as seen on "Who Asked For It!", not to be confused with a fish called Wanda) ..

The hooded and obscured figure, somewhat lost in a fog, shook off a half a ton of icicles and other snow related stuff and started to  take off the coat...

It was then that a stunning realization came over the slightly pickled crowd of penguins ( Not to mention Deadeye Duck, so I won't) and friends in the tavern... This was no ordinary visitor...

yes it was THAT time of year again...and as the visitor finally got the heavy coat off and tossed it to the floor...It became obvious to all that they had been visited by Billary...That vain and controversial searcher for the magic talisman of power granted to those worthy of being selected by "we the penguins" for Higher office..(or was that orifice??)

In a vain search for enough delegates to ensure her nomination, she had chosen to hunt down the last remaining peck of pickled penguin votes...she was armed and dangerous and was NOT going to take no for an answer....

To which Milo, in a huff (he couldn't find a Dodge,  Chevy or Ford at the time), responded....

[sugar]

Lady, you're to late!  Was some fella in here yesterday, or was it this morning, anyway, he was a rather tall, kinda dark lookin'  fella, said "I'll bomb ya!"  We hit the deck so to speak and he said, "No, I said my name is Obama, I'm seeking the Democratic nomination for President, and I came to tell you about my platform and to discuss the needs you have up here in the frozen Tundra."  Well, he was a purty nice guy and bought us all rounds of Black Bush, and we done pledged our votes for him.

At that Billary turned a shade of red they had never seen, it's head spun around and it's wig fell off.  After spewing vile profanity from it's mouth, it donned it's wet coat and screamed back out into the frozen tundra.

[IndyCarzGo]

Lady, you're to late!  Was some fella in here yesterday, or was it this morning, anyway, he was a rather tall, kinda dark lookin'  fella, said "I'll bomb ya!"  We hit the deck so to speak and he said, "No, I said my name is Obama, I'm seeking the Democratic nomination for President, and I came to tell you about my platform and to discuss the needs you have up here in the frozen Tundra."  Well, he was a purty nice guy and bought us all rounds of Black Bush, and we done pledged our votes for him.

At that Billary turned a shade of red they had never seen, it's head spun around and it's wig fell off.  After spewing vile profanity from it's mouth, it donned it's wet coat and screamed back out into the frozen tundra.

Well after all was  said and done...The multitudes of pickled penguins decided to draft their own candidate ...The always unabashed and unavoidable Milo Talon.... At least he would run as a delegate for that Obama guy....

Now it came time for the Pickled Penguin Party to draft a campaign platform... After imbibing gallons of Bush and chasing it down with multitudes of Coronas... The Pickled Penguin Party (Or PPP as it became known in the mainstream ...or was that frozen stream up there...media) chose the following ...

 "Our platform is 6 inches high so no one falls off...especially after havin a few too many... We believe in one organism one vote and the guaranteed annual year!!"


After saluting the idea with another fusilade of bushes, the PPP left the steamy tavern  enmasse to spread the word of the wonderful ideas....  After just a few minutes, who should they run into out on the frozen Tundra but.....

(Ed. Not: My thanks to the 4 or 5 crazy guys known as the Firesign Theatre for the inspiration (I didn't have any Bush so they were  the next best thing available at the time) of the above pickled penguoin opus!!!)

[sugar]

...that master of the English language, George Carlin, who had seven little words to say to the PPP...

[IndyCarzGo]

...that master of the English language, George Carlin, who had seven little words to say to the PPP...

Because those 7 words cannot be reproduced herin...Milo answered him back by saying.... "Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy."

After the outcry from the multitudes of pickled penguins faded to a dull roar, Milo called the group to attention and announced his choice for VEEP (Very Exaulted Exemplary Penguin)... The one and only George Leroy Tirebiter....

 Stunned and rather sh*tfaced, George stumbled up to the front of the crowd, took a deep breath and said..."One Organism, One Vote!"

He at once called upon Congress to extend the franchise to all the great apes, and predicted that the hominid vote would sweep him  and Milo into office.  Tirebiter pointed out that one of the three main platform planks of the PPP has already been universally adopted....universal availabilty of Bush 1608 in vast quantities...

In response, the streaming multitudes of pickled penguins began chanting.....

[sugar]

"We want Bush!"  "We want Bush!"  "We want Bush!"  "We want Bush!"  "We want Bush!"  At which Milo quickly jumped onto the platform, grabbed the mic and shouted:  "NO, NO, NO, NO!  WE'VE HAD ENOUGH BUSH, FIRST THE BIG BUSH AND NOW THE LITTLE BUSH!  WE WANT SOMTHING DIFFERENT!"

Suddenly a hush fell over the crowd.........

[IndyCarzGo]

"We want Bush!"  "We want Bush!"  "We want Bush!"  "We want Bush!"  "We want Bush!"  At which Milo quickly jumped onto the platform, grabbed the mic and shouted:  "NO, NO, NO, NO!  WE'VE HAD ENOUGH BUSH, FIRST THE BIG BUSH AND NOW THE LITTLE BUSH!  WE WANT SOMTHING DIFFERENT!"

Suddenly a hush fell over the crowd.........

And after the bedraggled and impatiently impervious crowd of felonious pickled penguins managed to get out from under that huge hush that had befallen them. they had to make a choice....whatever were they to do regarding their Bush dilemma??? Somtimes things like this even quayle in comparison.....

Suddenly, as if a hush had been pulled away from the crowd, the answer became obvious....

Milo and George jumped up before the restless crowd and announced that henceforth...or whatever else they do it forth up there... all PPP members would imbibe the Coronas prior to downing their Bush....

This got the multitudes of peevishly pickled penguins lathered up in an uproar... Seeing as there is nothing more difficult to handle than a humongous quantity of lathered penguins, Milo and George had to do something quick, before things got even more out of hand...

Suddenly, before either of them could even lift a flipper,................

[sugar]

It began to rain, washing the little penguins free of the lather, and sobering them up quite a bit.  They spied the Coronas and began to take of their tops - no not the penguins tops, the tops off the coronas.  The sound of hundreds of guzzling penguins is something to hear.  It is an indescribable sound.

The rain stopped just as suddenly as it began and the sun shone bright all over penguin land.......

[Tyyrus]

Suddenly Milo arose , waddled to the summit of Penquin Point , fifth of Black Bush in hand and exclaimed  !
All followers of the Black Watch Rejoice the wicked Kingfishers are Dead ! Suddenly from within the Crowd ...

[IndyCarzGo]

Suddenly Milo arose , waddled to the summit of Penquin Point , fifth of Black Bush in hand and exclaimed  !
All followers of the Black Watch Rejoice the wicked Kingfishers are Dead ! Suddenly from within the Crowd ...

A blinding flash occured...... And believe me when i say folks, there is nothing more ridiculous than a multitude of pickled penguins staggering around in a blinded state....

Well after the flash subsided, Milo and George STILL had to do something with all those pickled penguins, even though they HAD sobbered up a small bit...  They had to think fast so  Milo  began to hum a tune... He started to lead the Penguin Tabernacle Chior in a racous tune that went something like this....
Dreamed I was an Eskimo
(Bop-bop ta-da-da bop-bop Ta-da-da)
Frozen wind began to blow
(Bop-bop ta-da-da bop-bop Ta-da-da)
Under my boots 'n around my toe
(Bop-bop ta-da-da bop-bop Ta-da-da)
Frost had bit the ground below
(Boop-boop aiee-ay-ah!)
Was a hundred degrees below zero
(Booh!)
(Bop-bop ta-da-da bop-bop Ta-da-da)
And my momma cried:
Boo-a-hoo hoo-ooo
And my momma cried:
Nanook-a, no no (no no . . . )
Nanook-a, no no (no no . . . )
Don't be a naughty Eskimo-wo-oh
(Bop-bop ta-da-da bop-bop Ta-da-da)
Save your money: don't go to the show
Well I turned around an' I said:
HO HO
(Booh!)
Well I turned around an' I said:
HO HO
(Booh!)
Well I turned around an' I said:
HO HO
An' the Northern Lites commenced t' glow
An' she said
(Bop-bop ta-da-da bop . . . )
With a tear in her eye:
WATCH OUT WHERE THE HUSKIES GO
AN' DON'T YOU EAT THAT YELLOW SNOW
WATCH OUT WHERE THE HUSKIES GO
AN' DON'T YOU EAT THAT YELLOW SNOW


There was a sudden burst of loud and riotous applause as......