The Frontstretch: What drivers' Moms had to say over Mother’s Day dinner by Cheryl Walker -- Monday May 9, 2005

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No, I wasn’t invited to any of the drivers’ Mom’s houses this past Sunday. But I do not think I would have to stretch my imagination too far to consider what some of the drivers’ Mom’s might have had to say to their racing sons.

Can’t you just imagine the following, over stuffed pork chops or lasagna?

Greg Biffle’s Mom: “They can call you names all they want, dear. But it seems to me that the bug-eyed dummy has been hoisting those trophies a lot more than they have. Don’t pay any attention to them. Just keep doing your best.”

Tony Stewart’s Mom: “I see that you’re up against Dale Jr. in the ‘Sexiest Driver’ poll next weekend. Now we know you’ll win. Women love the dark, smoky, and tempestuous type.”

Dale Earnhardt’s Mom: “I see that you’re up against Tony Stewart in the ‘Sexiest Driver’ poll next weekend. Now we know you’ll win. Women always prefer a blue-eyed rebel with southern charm.”

Ryan Newman’s Mom: “Ryan, dear, please don’t eat so fast. It’s not good for you. Don’t eat like you qualify; you’ll end up with an ulcer.”

Rusty’s, Mike’s, and Kenny’s Mom: “Boys! Boys! Stop horsing at the dinner table. I’m supposed to be done telling you all to behave. Kenny, stop flipping peas at your brothers! I’m hollering more at the three of you than my grandchildren!”

Michael Waltrip’s Mom: “Why you’re absolutely right. He is certainly the instigator.”

Jeff Green’s Mom: “Why you’re absolutely right. He is certainly the instigator.”

Dale Jarrett’s, Bobby Labonte’s, Jeff Burton’s, and Robby Gordon’s Moms: “Don’t worry, dear. Things will turn around for you soon. Tomorrow is another day; next weekend is another race.”

Carl Edward’s, Jamie McMurray’s, and Kasey Kahne’s Moms: “I am so proud of you. I am the Mom of one of the most handsome and wholesome young men in racing. Do you see how the girls carry on when you walk by them?”

And Kurt Busch’s Mom probably didn’t have much to say, but she might have dropped a great one-liner about giving him a bar of soap to wash out his mouth before dessert was served.

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Cheryl is no longer a contributor to the Frotnstretch, having branched out on her own, starting CawsnJaws with her son Josh. If you'd like to see more of Cheryl's Frontstretch articles, check out her bio and archive page.