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The heck with Bristol tickets! How about an evening with the Wallace brothers?
Cheryl Walker · Monday August 8, 2005
On the wish list of the average NASCAR fan, tickets to Bristol probably stand as the most relished and coveted items of all. This writer wonders how many times across our country people have muttered aloud, “Man. I’d give away my mother if I could go to Bristol just once…” since 1961 when the track was built. How many times have those same people fallen over furniture
and hurt themselves after opening their mail and finding they had
indeed scored some tickets some twenty years in the future? Or are there still others who have hollered so loudly, “I GOT BRISTOL TICKETS”at their spouse that they broke a blood vessel in their throat and required doctor’s care. There have to be statistics on this somewhere.
I had the privilege of going to Bristol once, and it will, indeed, be a memory I will treasure as long as the remembering part of my brain is working properly. Going through the parking lot into the place, every fan around me had that same near-manic look on their face that read, “I’ve got tickets to Bristol… I’ve got tickets to Bristol… Going in to Bristol now… Going in to Bristol now” If it hadn’t have been so exciting, it would have been creepy.
In any sweepstakes I have ever read about in NASCAR, all the popular ones have always had tickets to Bristol to give away. Someone with a funny sense of humor and the money to pull it off ought to have a ‘What would YOU do to win tickets to Bristol contest?’ That would be a great promotion.
However, after having watched the rain delay during Saturday night’s Kroger 200 at Indy, I am thinking there is another grand prize out there that could be as pined for as seats in Thunder Valley. How about an evening… with the racing Wallace brothers?
Lest you think I’ve lost my octane-riddled mind, let me ask if you saw the segment Saturday where all three of the Wallace siblings were live on the air during the Busch race, all while the rain continued to fall at IRP. Mike and Rusty were together to start, and then they brought in Kenny by headset and microphone.
I had always imagined that the three of these wild and rambunctious fellows would be a sight to see anywhere when they’re together, and I’ve always had a little compassion for Mr. and Mrs. Wallace raising three such roguish
boys. So it was no surprise to me that during the hilarity of their on-screen antics on Saturday night, that Kenny informed the audience that occasionally Mrs. Wallace needed to get out the garden hose and splash down her young sons when they got into the next of very consistent bad arguments. Now that’s drama!
I have thought for a very long time about how much fun it would be to be a tagalong on an evening with the Wallace brothers, on one of those rare nights when they are away from the track, just being themselves, and doing some brotherly bonding. I am fairly certain there would be some scary moments, and a few times my ears would go up in flames from the vulgarities they would toss around (I have heard they are able to make drunken sailors blush). But, all in all, I’ll bet I’d be entertained, and enjoy myself better than any show in Vegas, comedy club, or just about anywhere else.
They say that laughing hard releases some sort of good chemical in your bloodstream that is beneficial to you all over. Heck, I’m primed for a ‘Wallace cleansing’. So, what’ll it be then: an evening listening to the Wallace men have fun, or tickets to Bristol? For me, it’s an easy choice.
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