The Frontstretch: Top 10 Other Ways Carl Edwards Could Have Retaliated Against Brad Keselowski by Doug Turnbull -- Wednesday March 10, 2010

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10. Four words: Rental. Car. Drag. Race.

9. Signed him up to appear on stage on SPEED’s Fast Track to Fame with Michael Waltrip.

Carl Edwards failed to realize Sunday that the only reason Denny Hamlin was able to punt Brad Keselowski so well on a high speed straightaway was because he had God on his quarterpanels.

8. Cellophane on the toilet bowl, stink bombs in his motorhome, “Kick Me” sign on his driving suit …

7. Kept his helmet on and shoved him in sissy-like Jeff Gordon fashion after the race.

6. Left a “F@#$ you very much” note on the seat of his airplane.

5. Followed him into a restaurant, sat at a different table, ordered a bunch of food and drinks, only to tell the waitress “that guy over there” said he would foot the bill.

4. Called him a “decrepit has-been that never was” on TV.

3. Twittered his cell number, John Daly-style.

2. Switched out his urine sample with Jeremy Mayfield’s in the NASCAR hauler.

1. First read a copy of Denny Hamlin’s “How to Spin Out a Guy on a Fast Straightaway and Not Almost Place Him in the Grandstands.”

Listen to Doug weekly on The Allan Vigil Ford Lincoln Mercury Speedshop racing show with host Captain Herb Emory each Saturday, from 12-1 PM, on News/Talk 750 WSB in Atlanta and on wsbradio.com. Doug also hosts the “Chase Elliott Podcast” and the “Bill Elliott Racing Podcast” on ChaseElliott.com and BillElliott.com.

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Josie
03/10/2010 09:54 AM
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Number 11 would be “let their mommies duke it out”!

leedanielson
03/10/2010 07:50 PM
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From a long time racing fan this is going to come across as bizarre. Most of the modern day nas$car drivers remind of male super models in race cars. God forbid, but that’s my take. I started thinking along these lines in the last couple of years, but it’s really hit me this year. I realize it’s high speed danger, but do they all (male and female) have to look like they just came out of the shower on a godaddy commercial? Tell me I’m wrong here. I don’t think I am.