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Doug Turnbull · Wednesday July 14, 2010
After close racing with Mark Martin in the closing laps of Saturday night’s Chicagoland race, Juan Pablo Montoya confronted Martin in the garage and suggested he take driving lessons. Well, why not be a pupil for one of Montoya’s own classes? Here are the top 10 pillars at the “Juan Pablo Montoya Driving School…”
10. Spin Kyle Busch.
9. Make media availability awkward by pointing at your watch every time you’re invited to the Media Center after a third-place finish.
8. When in a shoving match, always wear a helmet.
7. Plus or minus a straightaway is the proper amount of room to leave when racing Juan – but if Juan’s racing you …
6. Make sure your wife always curses other drivers out in another language when rooting for you on Twitter.
5. Don’t ever, ever work on a racecar.
4. You know, that splitter is pretty darn good at cutting tires.
3. If you bunch up the field on a restart, it’s dirty racing. If Juan does it, it’s hard racing.
2. Never pick on someone your own size.
1. Juan Montoya always wins!
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Poor JamieMac. He’s got to have the worst team mate in the whole sport. What a whiner JPM is.
10b Get near Kyle, have Kyle cause his own wreck and blame somebody else.
Hit everybody; complain that they, too were on the racetrack, therefore leaving him no room to race.
You are a fucking moron!
“When in a shoving match, always wear a helmet. “
Harvick had his on as well.
“Don’t ever, ever work on a racecar. “
Please oh fucking please show me any Cup driver who spins a wrench on his car!
“You know, that splitter is pretty darn good at cutting tires.”
Do you actually watch races? Damn near everyone has done this. It’s a by product of the COT. It happens.
“Never pick on someone your own size.”
Puh fucking please. The only “physical” altercation Juan has had was with Harvick. Harvick is bigger than Juan.
JPM has raced at the top tier, and won! The likes of Johnson, Gordon, etc would love to have wins at Indy and Monacco.