The Frontstretch: Top Ten Things Said to Matt Kenseth by the Crazy Fan at The Glen by Jeff Meyer -- Tuesday August 14, 2007

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10. "Dude, I'm going to the beer tent. You need anything?"

9. "Hi Matt! My buddy bet me five bucks that I wouldn't run out here and meet you. Is he stupid or what!?"

8. "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was a taxi."

7. "I'm Loren Wallace. Jack (Roush) sent me to tell you to get out! I'm gonna finish the race!"

6. "Wash your windshield for fifty cents!?"

5. "I'm Morgan, the NEW Kissing Bandit. I wanted Jeffy, but you'll have to do. Pucker up and give me a nice wet one, big boy!"

4. "Hey man, can you give me a ride to the bus stop?"

3. "‘Sup dude? My name's Shane…eh…Hmiel! Yeah, that's it, Shane Hmiel. I just wanted to see one of these cars up close and meet a real race car driver …..uhhhhh…….oh, now I remember…..you got any EZ Widers?"

2. "Hey man, you got a cordless screw gun in here? I'm trying to fix the awning on my camper and I thought, well…since it said ‘Dewalt Tools ON the car… I thought I'd take a chance."

1. "Hi Matt. Thomas Bowles, Managing Editor with Frontstretch.com here…you got a minute? I'd just like to ask you a few questions if I may…"

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M. B. Voelker
08/15/2007 06:31 AM
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ROFLOL @ #1!!!!!

Wayne M.
08/15/2007 08:28 AM
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Excellent list!

Gracia
08/15/2007 09:24 AM
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OMG, those are a riot….thanks.

Tara
08/15/2007 11:51 AM
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Those are great! Although on No. 5, I’d rather kiss Kenseth any day. ;)

Dot Jones
08/15/2007 01:20 PM
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Too funny. Good job Jeff.

Chris2
08/15/2007 01:58 PM
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Best Top-10 yet:-)

Dave
08/15/2007 02:24 PM
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No 9 is a classic…..

Mike Neff
08/15/2007 08:21 PM
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For those of us who write for this esteemed site, no. 1 is quite possibly the funniest thing you have ever written.

 

Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

Voices From The Cheap Seats: The Tale Of Two Tires
BSNews! Bruton’s Plans Extend Beyond Bristol’s Track
Top Ten Reasons Fans Failed To Show Up At Bristol Sunday
BSNews! NASCAR CEO Given "Special" Award Amidst Lavish Fanfare
Fan Coun-ci-What? Just What Is It That NASCAR Wants To Study?

Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.