The Frontstretch: Top Ten Things Said to Matt Kenseth by the Crazy Fan at The Glen by Jeff Meyer -- Tuesday August 14, 2007

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10. "Dude, I'm going to the beer tent. You need anything?"

9. "Hi Matt! My buddy bet me five bucks that I wouldn't run out here and meet you. Is he stupid or what!?"

8. "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought this was a taxi."

7. "I'm Loren Wallace. Jack (Roush) sent me to tell you to get out! I'm gonna finish the race!"

6. "Wash your windshield for fifty cents!?"

5. "I'm Morgan, the NEW Kissing Bandit. I wanted Jeffy, but you'll have to do. Pucker up and give me a nice wet one, big boy!"

4. "Hey man, can you give me a ride to the bus stop?"

3. "‘Sup dude? My name's Shane…eh…Hmiel! Yeah, that's it, Shane Hmiel. I just wanted to see one of these cars up close and meet a real race car driver …..uhhhhh…….oh, now I remember… got any EZ Widers?"

2. "Hey man, you got a cordless screw gun in here? I'm trying to fix the awning on my camper and I thought, well…since it said ‘Dewalt Tools ON the car… I thought I'd take a chance."

1. "Hi Matt. Thomas Bowles, Managing Editor with here…you got a minute? I'd just like to ask you a few questions if I may…"

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Today on the Frontstretch:
Did You Notice? … A Return To Richmond, Post-Spingate And Quick Hits
NASCAR Mailbox: A ‘Normal’ Saturday And A Valuable Lesson
Beyond the Cockpit: Tony ‘The Sarge’ Schumacher
Open Wheel Wednesday: Controversial Moves, Long Beach Crowds, and Being a Fuddy Duddy
The Frontstretch Five: Pleasant Surprises of 2014 So Far
IndyCar Driver Profile: Takuma Sato
Beyond the Cockpit: Tommy Baldwin on Owning His Team, Hall of Fame and the Number Seven


©2000 - 2008 Jeff Meyer and Thanks for visiting the Frontstretch!

M. B. Voelker
08/15/2007 06:31 AM

ROFLOL @ #1!!!!!

Wayne M.
08/15/2007 08:28 AM

Excellent list!

08/15/2007 09:24 AM

OMG, those are a riot….thanks.

08/15/2007 11:51 AM

Those are great! Although on No. 5, I’d rather kiss Kenseth any day. ;)

Dot Jones
08/15/2007 01:20 PM

Too funny. Good job Jeff.

08/15/2007 01:58 PM

Best Top-10 yet:-)

08/15/2007 02:24 PM

No 9 is a classic…..

Mike Neff
08/15/2007 08:21 PM

For those of us who write for this esteemed site, no. 1 is quite possibly the funniest thing you have ever written.


Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

Voices From The Cheap Seats: The Tale Of Two Tires
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BSNews! NASCAR CEO Given "Special" Award Amidst Lavish Fanfare
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Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.