The Frontstretch: Top Ten Things California Speedway Could Do To Fill the Stands by Jeff Meyer -- Tuesday August 28, 2007

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10. Remove about 20,000 seats.

9. Offer the O. J. Simpson Driving Experience, complete with a free pair of driving gloves. (They fail to fit, by the way…)

8. Plant lettuce and other forms of produce in the infield, and tape an application for harvesters on every seat.

7. Replace all ISC-owned concessions and Wolfgang Puck's restaurant with In & Out Burger stands.

6. Make all tickets available to only Darlington-area fans, with the promise that Brian France will personally greet each fan as they enter the Speedway.

5. Move the race back to Darlington, but rename it “California Speedway” for the weekend.

4. Offer a free Race Day Experience to all “washed up,” “overrated,” “self-inflated” and “childhood” stars, actors, and entertainers.

3. Require all ticket purchases to be by National Rifle Association members, and feature Rosie O'Donnell as the pre-race entertainment.

2. Schedule a NFL preseason game to be played in the infield during the Cup race.

1. Schedule Hillary Clinton as entertainment, and sell tickets only to Republicans. Remember, all festivities to coincide with the harvest of the infield tomato crop!

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dirtrakr
08/29/2007 06:24 AM
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Why not issue free passes to all the illegal immigrants in California??

William T.
08/29/2007 07:53 AM
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hahahahhaha.

Rick
08/29/2007 08:30 AM
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I like dirtrakr’s answer and it will also build up the minority fan base that Na$car is going after!lol

William T.
08/29/2007 08:46 AM
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hahahahahhahahahha to both Dirtrake and Rick

HILARIOUS!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Bruce
08/29/2007 11:10 AM
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Road racing, drag racing, and off-road racing have always been popular in SoCal, but oval track racing just isn’t.

J. Meyer
08/29/2007 12:37 PM
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Dirtrakr and Rick…
I had that covered in #8. The original version I submitted also said..“English speakers need NOT apply”

Apparently, my editors, in a sudden attack of politcal correctness, felt that last part would offend someone and cut it out.
Which when you think about it is really silly…those that it might offend wouldnn’t be able to read it anyway!
Editors!….Sheeeeesh!

Joe
08/29/2007 03:50 PM
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JM – Hil-ary-ASS (sound it out..hilarious..)

mike thomas
08/29/2007 03:56 PM
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jr.johnson 4/18/65 north wilks.4/19/65.t lebonte 03/02/86 the rock 06/08/86 r.wallace 11/08/87 riverside 11/04/87 k.petty 03/04/90richmond 03/08/90

Dave
08/29/2007 09:19 PM
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Another great top 10 list….only problem with no.2 is no body would show up for that either, thats why LA doesn’t have a football team now, maybe NASCAR should take that hint and come back east…..

Chanda
08/29/2007 11:17 PM
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Turn off all the lights and make them race in the dark. We might see something exciting then! Man, I miss Darlington!

 

Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

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