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Jeff Meyer · Tuesday October 23, 2007
Author's note: In an article by SPEED TV’s Robin Miller last week, he spread a rumor that Jim France will assume the Throne at NASCAR, becoming CEO and replacing his nephew, Brian France. Supposedly, Brian will remain in the racing business, simply moving to the France family-controlled Grand-Am Series instead as CEO.
At this point, it is only a rumor; but the prayers of millions of NASCAR fans certainly couldn't hurt!
With that in mind…
Top Ten Possible Reasons For A Family Switch At the Helm of NASCAR
10. There IS a God after all!
9. God lost a bet to Dale Earnhardt, Sr. in a Heavenly Poker game.
8. The request for the switch was found in the very last paragraph of Bill France, Jr.'s will.
7. The Grand-Am Series is suddenly in need of “over 75 million fans.”
6. The Grand-Am Series is running just perfect … but Brian knows in his heart that he can make it better.
5. Brian likes and uses the Series sponsor (Crown Royal) infinitely more than he does Sprint.
4. Uncle Jim got a hold of some incriminating photos of Brian, a palm tree stump, and a Coke.
3. There are too many wings and splitters on the Grand-Am Series cars, and it looks like they need to be replaced by spoilers and valences. Brian is just the man to get the job done.
2. Grand-Am Series television ratings are just way too high.
1. The rest of the family – on the advice of their broker – finally realized that he just shouldn't have ever been the CEO in the first place.
©2000 - 2008 Jeff Meyer and Frontstetch.com. Thanks for visiting the Frontstretch!
ok #9 was just damn funny
Not only are they damn funny…..all of them have some truth to them….. and that’s a damn shame. It’s just short of a crime what Brian France has done to NA$CAR and stock car racing as a whole. Some one in the family has got to realize the falling ratings, empty seats, and thousands upon thousands of disgruntled fans has to be a direct result of his actions (or lack thereof). France family you better do something – anything – before it’s all gone!!! The clock’s ticking, listen to the fans, they are trying to tell you something – LISTEN. You have ignored all the other signpost, the fans are just about all you have left. 75 million of us (or what’s left) can’t all be wrong.
Well said, Funny but true! Please keep those prayers comming up here. Baby Brian isn’t gone just yet!
PS, I should have known not to draw to an inside Straight.
Love one another,
The Big Guy
The best answer would be to remove Brian from auto racing completely and let the adults take over NASCAR again .
I’m praying just as fast as I can!!!!
Good tongue in cheek list( except for #1). Be careful jeff, I enjoy your humor too much to get you black balled by the 800 pound gorillas. Some things are left to barstool talk.
All ten are great reasons for a desperatly needed change . But lets not forget that Brian didn’t screw things up this badly all by himself . As long as we’re clearing out the dead wood , Mike Helton with his yes man role is just as guilty . As are John Darby’s incompetence and the Nascar competition department for allowing things to go in so obviously the wrong direction for so long . And the ever arrogant and always wrong Ramsey Poston , for telling us that we just aren’t sophisticated enough to realize what a great job Nascar is doing .
Another great Top 10 Jeff.
You have to feel some pity for the Grand Am fans. It’ll get as screwed up as NASCAR is now under Brian’s “leadership”.
BTW, Brian prefers vodka.
I have known Bill Sr., Jr., and Jim and thought Jim should have been the one to take over after Bill Sr. but he didn’t want the job. He is by far the smartest France since Big Bill
Jeff, is the best article I’ve read in a while and most serious NASCAR fans will agree with this! Brian France has ignored the drivers, the car owners, and most importantly the fans since the day he took over! His legacy in NASCAR history will be implementation of the huge failure of the COT car, falling ratings, chasing sponsors out of the sport, (Budweiser, Busch, AT&T, and Geico). He is the architect of the Top 35 rule that week in and week out keeps top 25 capable cars out of the race as well as cars capable of winning at Talladega and Daytona this year.
The rules also keep the field fillers like Kyle Petty in the field each week when he can’t keep up to Nascar’s minimum speed! The only things I can think of that the guy did that was positive was adding the races in Mexico and Canada! The small teams have all but disappeared from the series as well and fully funded teams like Napa and Red Bull can’t even make the field due to the qualifying rules. If anyone else has anything positive to say about Brian France I would sure like to hear it! Because I sure can’t think of anymore, unless you call stepping aside a contribution!
PLEASE GOD LET IT BE TRUE PLEASE GOD LET IT BE TRUE PLEASE GOD LET IT BE TRUE PLEASE GOD LET IT BE TRUE PLEASE GOD LET IT BE TRUE PLEASE GOD LET IT BE TRUE PLEASE GOD LET IT BE TRUE PLEASE GOD LET IT BE TRUE Jim can’t be any worse than Brian, can he?
I cannot believe that anyone could find fault with such a genius as Brian France. Why his idea of a race in Japan was fatuitous. And he almost singlehandedly made the one car family owened team possible only in a unpopular canceled TV cartoon.
I have no problem with a change at the head of NASCAR. It will be welcomed relief. However, I do have a problem with your #9 & 10. There is a commandment that states, “Thou shalt not take the name of thy God in vain”. This does not just mean using curse words. This is done by doing anything with the name of the Lord that is dishonoring or displeasing to him. The thought Him in a poker game, or the very acknowledgment of his existance only in racing is Blasphemy. I hope that you do have a saving knowledge of God through Jesus Christ and that you know these things already.
I have been a born again, spirit filled Christian since I was 12 yrs old.
While I disagree with your assertion that #9 and #10 uses the Lords name in vain, and also that Poker in and of itself is displeasing or dishonoring to God, I respect your opinion. For as it is written in Romans 14:19-21…
19Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. 20Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. 21It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.
Please forgive me if I have offended you, Brother
Jeff, thanks for writing the reply. I enjoy your articles and they are generally funny. And I accept your acknowledgement and the great verse you gave.
My problem is that everywhere you look people take our Maker too lightly these days. He is a holy holy holy God and deserves our reverence.
But, this is a racing site and I do not want to turn it into church.
I am sorry I doubted you.
Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:
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Top Ten Reasons Fans Failed To Show Up At Bristol Sunday
BSNews! NASCAR CEO Given "Special" Award Amidst Lavish Fanfare
Fan Coun-ci-What? Just What Is It That NASCAR Wants To Study?
Top Ten Reasons People With No Sense of Humor Write In And Complain About These Lists
Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.