The Frontstretch: Top Ten Nice Things You Could Say About Certain NASCAR Personalities or Entities by Jeff Meyer -- Wednesday August 6, 2008

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And remember your momma’s advice; if you can’t say something nice…

10. Kurt Busch: Since his little brother came along, Kurt is a really nice and likable fellow.

That’s right, Kurt: you are no longer NASCAR’s most hated driver!

9. Brad Daugherty: He looks remarkably like Barack Obama… or is it the other way around?

8. Nextel Sprint: With their customer base now so small, their Customer Service reps have more time to piss you off with a more personal touch.

7. Juan Pablo Montoya: Best thing to happen to NASCAR’s Diversity Program since – well, since NASCAR’s Diversity Program — and all by accident, too! (That was started how many years ago now?)

6. Kasey Kahne: Even when he gets older, he shouldn’t have to worry about a date … as he’s the dream of MILFs everywhere. (Wake up, Editors!)

5. Dale Jarrett: He sure ain’t no Rusty Wallace – Thank God!

4. Goodyear: …ummm…They make really good…no, wait a minute…uh…Oh! Their blimp is kind of cool! (Of course, it only uses its tires to sit on)

3. Gene Haas: Since the charges against him related to his racing team were dropped in a plea agreement, he is still “in good standing” with NASCAR – and if you need him, we know exactly where he is for the next year and a half. He should be easy to get a hold of…

2. Teresa Earnhardt: Yeah, right! You seriously thought I was gonna try and tackle this one!? Nope, I’m going to make my momma proud!

1. Brian France: After listening to him speak for an hour or so, politicians will make infinitely more sense to you — a handy thing during an election year.

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sandy
08/06/2008 01:00 PM
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DEI…was started by Dale Earnhardt.

Robert Eastman
08/06/2008 02:04 PM
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Rumor has it that Gene Haas could be out of prison in Jan. 2009 on Bush’s last day of office. Of course Bush doesn’t really need the money like Clinton did, so Haas buying a pardon may be nothing more than a rumor.
At least Haas isn’t a traitor like Marc Rich. Politicians, don’t you just love em?

alan4s
08/06/2008 10:00 PM
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Top Ten lists can be fun. I don’t think you guys should feel obligated to give us one each week though. If it works, do it, if not, don’t bother.

D Jones
08/06/2008 10:11 PM
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Agree with #9. #6, wink wink. Funny column Jeff.

 

Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

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Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.