The Frontstretch: Top Ten Foreseeable Problems With NASCAR In China by Jeff Meyer -- Wednesday August 13, 2008

Go to site navigation Go to article

Top Ten Foreseeable Problems With NASCAR In China

Jeff Meyer · Wednesday August 13, 2008

 

Editor’s Note: In honor of the Olympics, we wanted to bring back this popular Top Ten from last year, with a few tweaks — hope you enjoy it!

10. StarvingPeasant.com not allowed to sponsor a car.

9. Colossal statues and portraits of “Chairman Brian” begin popping up everywhere at all ISC tracks.

8. NASCAR rulebook increases from 100 pages to 1,000 when translated into Chinese. (Don’t worry, it still doesn’t make any sense!)

Brian France actually traveled to China in 2007 to explore possible NASCAR business partnerships overseas. But no publicized agreements were reached, and there’s no signs talks have continued since.

7. Brian France mandates that all rules will be enforced with traditional Chinese Government fervor and zeal.

6. Run-of-the-mill CoTs are mass produced in China and imported here with an ultimate plan to “save the teams money.”

5. Any Chinese venue not selling out at least 500,000 tickets per wace will be dropped from the schedule.

4. Greg Biffle’s dogs mysteriously disappear during a race in Beijing, never to be seen again.

3. Cars are “weewee woose in conners.”

2. ISC creates an “international incident” when it attempts to buy Tiananmen Square because it is “the perfect location” for a track.

1. No. 24 fans get all bent out of shape after locally hired spotter repeatedly says, “you queer gore don, you queer” each time Jeff passes a car.

Contact Jeff Meyer

NASCAR NEWS, RIGHT TO YOUR INBOXAND IT’S FREE.
The Frontstretch Newsletter, back in 2014 gives you more of the daily news, commentary, and racing features from your favorite writers you know and love. Don’t waste another minute – click here to sign up now. We’re here to make sure you stay informed … so make sure you jump on for the ride!

Today on the Frontstretch:
Championship Caliber? What Does That Even Mean?
Mirror Driving: Winning Vs. Points, Needing a Boost, and The Lady’s Last Dance?
Nuts for Nationwide: The Curious Case of Elliott Sadler
Happiness Is…Arrogance, Less, Next, and the Outdoors
Frontstretch Foto Funnies: It’s Not Gonna Fit…
FREE NEWSLETTER! CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP

 

©2000 - 2008 Jeff Meyer and Frontstetch.com. Thanks for visiting the Frontstretch!

mkrcr
08/13/2008 08:04 PM
permalink

I love it but I’d be fired in a heartbeat for making those non- politically correct comments in my workplace.
Big ones, Jeff

 

Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

Voices From The Cheap Seats: The Tale Of Two Tires
BSNews! Bruton’s Plans Extend Beyond Bristol’s Track
Top Ten Reasons Fans Failed To Show Up At Bristol Sunday
BSNews! NASCAR CEO Given "Special" Award Amidst Lavish Fanfare
Fan Coun-ci-What? Just What Is It That NASCAR Wants To Study?

Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.