The Frontstretch: Top Ten Reasons Rolling Stone Should Stick To Writing About Rock Stars -- Not Tony Stewart by Jeff Meyer -- Wednesday September 10, 2008

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Please, dear God, don’t put this do on the cover of the Rolling Stone.

10. Tony Stewart probably doesn’t even know who Dr. Hook is.

9. “…A cloud of greasy black smoke from Johnson’s celebratory rubber burn wafts over…” Black smoke from a burnout? Ain’t never seen that!

8. The article is more conveniently slanted than the corners at Bristol.

7. The only instrument Stewart could possibly play is the radio — and even that leaves him winded.

6. “…He throws sh*t against the wall. He curses…” Yeah, especially after that win at Watkins Glen a couple years ago where he soiled his suit!

5. Needless expense of adding double fold cover to show Stewart’s complete butt.

4. Some guys look good with Rock & Roll style long hair. Other guys are Tony Stewart.

3. “Before each race, when drivers ride around the track on the backs of pickup trucks and wave at the crowds, none are greeted with so thick a barrage of hate as Stewart.” Guess the author never heard of the Busch brothers.

2. “They arrive weeks before the race and build shantytowns of dually pickup trucks, beat-up Winnebagos, tarps, tents, and gleaming motor coaches…” Um, make that one week… maybe. Every self-respecting, southern redneck knows you can get a couple more batches of ‘shine done if you don’t come that early!

1. You’re never going to get Kate Hudson to agree to star in a movie as a “long-legged, doe-eyed” pit-lizard trying to scrog Tony Stewart.

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Jeff Meyer
09/10/2008 03:00 AM
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Credit must be given to FS.com’s Matt McLaughlin, who contributed to this weeks Top Ten!
Thanks Matt

Jeff Meyer

HUDSON HORNET
09/10/2008 04:18 AM
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Tony keeps gettin’ richer
Now that he got his ‘pitcher’
On the cover of the Rolling Stone.

Shantytowns of dually pickup trucks and beat up Winnebagos,tarps and tents?

I remember those daze!
Back in the 1960’s.
I’d like to go back.

Another fine article you’ve written, Jeff.
And, you say McMatt assisted you?
Hmmmmmmmmmmm

I didn’t realize McMatt could be that twisted.
I love it!
LoL!

Kudos to you both.

chase
09/10/2008 09:55 AM
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Jeff and Matt: What a great article!!!! What is RS thinking????? They should have asked you both to pen the article! Thanks so much!

Ric
09/10/2008 03:37 PM
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Rolling Stone doesn’t know anything about music either…see a pattern?

Gary
09/10/2008 04:16 PM
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RS came to Memphis and mentioned a strip club on Beale Street, which never has and never will have a strip club. They never let the facts get in the way of a good story.

 

Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

Voices From The Cheap Seats: The Tale Of Two Tires
BSNews! Bruton’s Plans Extend Beyond Bristol’s Track
Top Ten Reasons Fans Failed To Show Up At Bristol Sunday
BSNews! NASCAR CEO Given "Special" Award Amidst Lavish Fanfare
Fan Coun-ci-What? Just What Is It That NASCAR Wants To Study?

Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.