The Frontstretch: Top Ten Recent Understatements By NASCAR-Affiliated Personnel (With Commentary!) by Jeff Meyer -- Wednesday October 15, 2008

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10. “It was great to see the front and sniff a little bit of the lead of the race with 25 [laps] to go.” – Kurt Busch

(Oooo, that smell! Can’t ya smell that smell?!)

9. “Everyone at Roush Fenway runs well. I mean, all of my teammates run well every single week… so I think to sit on the pole in the Nationwide race and then have a Top 5 in the Cup race, it’s gonna make for a wonderful Sunday off.” – Jamie McMurray

(And maybe, just maybe, save his job. Hey, stranger things have happened!)

8. “I got close, but we were just racing really, and he was side drafting me pretty hard through the center of the turn. I almost lost it a couple of times, and I thought ‘you know, that just doesn’t make sense right now.’” – Jimmie Johnson

(And Kevin Harvick called CARL a pansy. Your Honor, I offer the above as ‘Exhibit A.’)

7. “Our run out there kind of came and went. We were pretty good the last run but the run before that, we got way behind and it cost us a lot of track position.” – Mark Martin

(Sounds like a description of my marriage…just before the divorce.)

6. “The car was real loose all night and we just couldn’t fix it. We’ve had that problem with this car. They threw everything but the kitchen sink at it.” -Elliott Sadler

(Change a few words, and it’s exactly like the commentary of number 7!)

Greg Biffle’d have you believe that he definitely wouldn’t want to see the jack break or a lug nut fall off during this pit stop.

5. “It was a fun run. This track is great. You can move all over and do a lot of things at this race track. It was a fun race.” – Kasey Kahne

(Easy to tell which tracks they weren’t running at!)

4. “We don’t wish any bad luck on him, but something is gonna have to happen in order for us to catch him [Jimmie Johnson].” – Greg Biffle

(Yeah right, Greg. Hope this racing thing works out for you, ‘cause you’d suck as a used car salesman!)

3. “It probably didn’t help that we had the damage already, so man, that just killed our night. I know we came back with a really nice finish, but it would have been so much better if we hadn’t had that damage.” – Jeff Gordon

(Ya think? Who was it that ran into the wall on laps 1 and 3?)

2. “Everybody keeps wanting to give somebody the trophy, you know what I mean, and it is only halfway through. It is not done yet.” Jeff Burton

(Yeah, who was that kid they were talking about just a few weeks ago? Ky… Kyle somebody I think it was…)

1. “I wasn’t running real hard at all. I was actually taking it pretty easy. I would have slowed down if I knew the tire was going to blow.” – Dale Earnhardt, Jr.

(Did ya hear the news? NASCAR may do away with restrictor plates now that we have ‘restrictor tires!’)

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Did You Notice? … A Return To Richmond, Post-Spingate And Quick Hits
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©2000 - 2008 Jeff Meyer and Frontstetch.com. Thanks for visiting the Frontstretch!

Jeff Meyer
10/15/2008 01:40 AM
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Author’s Note:
The commentary for numbers 7 & 6 are an attempt at humor. Especially number 6. It is just a joke and in no way resembles any past occurances.

- Jeff Meyer

Señor Obvious
10/15/2008 04:32 PM
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So you threw the Kitchen Sink at her in addition to everything else?

Sean
10/15/2008 11:22 PM
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About#6
I want to know if it was an approved NASCAR kitchen sink, because if it wasn’t, I think suspensions and fines are in order.

 

Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

Voices From The Cheap Seats: The Tale Of Two Tires
BSNews! Bruton’s Plans Extend Beyond Bristol’s Track
Top Ten Reasons Fans Failed To Show Up At Bristol Sunday
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Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.