The Frontstretch: Top Ten Reasons Jimmie Johnson Might Not Win The Chase by Jeff Meyer -- Wednesday October 29, 2008

Go to site navigation Go to article

Top Ten Reasons Jimmie Johnson Might Not Win The Chase

Jeff Meyer · Wednesday October 29, 2008

 

Author’s note: This list is a revision of one I wrote about one year ago! It’s sad how apropo it is today as when I wrote it last year — ‘cept for the Jeff Gordon part!

10. Other drivers hire Tonya Harding to give Jimmie a good “knee whacking.”

If NASCAR wants to make the Chase more interesting, they could make the No. 48 race the remainder of the season on leftover Brickyard tires.

9. Chad Knaus decides he is tired of babysitting Jimmie, and lets him “keep on welding.”

8. Two words: Goodyear tires.

7. While it sounded like a good idea at the time, Hendrick Motorsports finds out the hard way why Kobalt Tools are not the Official Tools of NASCAR.

6. Oh yeah, Kyle Busch… yeah right! Like THAT was ever gonna happen! (Thank God!)

5. NASCAR implements new, stricter drug testing policy … and all Hendrick cars are found to be on steroids bought from Carl Edwards.

4. Jimmie accepts the use of Michael Waltrip’s private jet, and finds himself at the wrong track.

3. Hendrick Motorsports abruptly merges with Ganassi. (‘nuff said!)

2. Jimmie is suspended for the remainder of the season after excessive amounts of vanilla are found in his system.

1. In a sudden reversal of fortune, due in part to an accountant forgetting to carry one, Dodge actually takes over GM and Jimmie must use a Dodge engine for the remaining races.

Contact Jeff Meyer

 

©2000 - 2008 Jeff Meyer and Frontstetch.com. Thanks for visiting the Frontstretch!

AndrewFromTN
10/29/2008 03:42 PM
permalink

I have to admit that I don’t like most of these lists.

However, this week is spot on!!!

At this point, it would take something ludicrous and comical for Jimmie not to win the title.

Denis
10/29/2008 04:43 PM
permalink

Johnson and Gordon swap crew chiefs and Gordon makes an unprecedented come back.

FS_Amy
10/29/2008 09:15 PM
permalink

LOL! I love #9.

Doug Scholl
10/29/2008 10:27 PM
permalink

While filming a gaotrade commerical Tiger Woods let a three iron slip.

Jimmie Johnson hauler’s gps gets tampered with and the car ends up at the waldorf instead of homestead.

Jimmy was electrocuted while trying out the new miller welding machine delived by Lowes.

Channy spends more time with Chad and divorces Jimmy before phoenix and marries Chad on a quick trip to Vegas while at Phoenix.

Robby Gordon offers Jimmy a co pilot spot in the Baja 1000 and they drive of a mexican cliff.

Casey Mears slips into Phoenix garage and re wraps both the 48 and 5 and Jimmy drives Casey’s car.

Jeff Gordon in a cost cutting move ensuring he doesn’t make over 250,000 dollars a year, fires his driver.

The warranty runs out on the Kobalt airguns.

Kyle Busch steals back his helmet.

Carl Edwards wins Texas and forgets to point the six shooters in the air.

 

Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

Top Ten Reasons Fans Failed To Show Up At Bristol Sunday
BSNews! NASCAR CEO Given "Special" Award Amidst Lavish Fanfare
Fan Coun-ci-What? Just What Is It That NASCAR Wants To Study?
Top Ten Reasons People With No Sense of Humor Write In And Complain About These Lists
NASCAR Approves of Edwards’ Actions While Placating Whiny Fans

Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.