The Frontstretch: Top Ten Reasons Jimmie Johnson Might Not Win The Chase by Jeff Meyer -- Wednesday October 29, 2008

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Top Ten Reasons Jimmie Johnson Might Not Win The Chase

Jeff Meyer · Wednesday October 29, 2008


Author’s note: This list is a revision of one I wrote about one year ago! It’s sad how apropo it is today as when I wrote it last year — ‘cept for the Jeff Gordon part!

10. Other drivers hire Tonya Harding to give Jimmie a good “knee whacking.”

If NASCAR wants to make the Chase more interesting, they could make the No. 48 race the remainder of the season on leftover Brickyard tires.

9. Chad Knaus decides he is tired of babysitting Jimmie, and lets him “keep on welding.”

8. Two words: Goodyear tires.

7. While it sounded like a good idea at the time, Hendrick Motorsports finds out the hard way why Kobalt Tools are not the Official Tools of NASCAR.

6. Oh yeah, Kyle Busch… yeah right! Like THAT was ever gonna happen! (Thank God!)

5. NASCAR implements new, stricter drug testing policy … and all Hendrick cars are found to be on steroids bought from Carl Edwards.

4. Jimmie accepts the use of Michael Waltrip’s private jet, and finds himself at the wrong track.

3. Hendrick Motorsports abruptly merges with Ganassi. (‘nuff said!)

2. Jimmie is suspended for the remainder of the season after excessive amounts of vanilla are found in his system.

1. In a sudden reversal of fortune, due in part to an accountant forgetting to carry one, Dodge actually takes over GM and Jimmie must use a Dodge engine for the remaining races.

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©2000 - 2008 Jeff Meyer and Thanks for visiting the Frontstretch!

10/29/2008 02:42 PM

I have to admit that I don’t like most of these lists.

However, this week is spot on!!!

At this point, it would take something ludicrous and comical for Jimmie not to win the title.

10/29/2008 03:43 PM

Johnson and Gordon swap crew chiefs and Gordon makes an unprecedented come back.

10/29/2008 08:15 PM

LOL! I love #9.

Doug Scholl
10/29/2008 09:27 PM

While filming a gaotrade commerical Tiger Woods let a three iron slip.

Jimmie Johnson hauler’s gps gets tampered with and the car ends up at the waldorf instead of homestead.

Jimmy was electrocuted while trying out the new miller welding machine delived by Lowes.

Channy spends more time with Chad and divorces Jimmy before phoenix and marries Chad on a quick trip to Vegas while at Phoenix.

Robby Gordon offers Jimmy a co pilot spot in the Baja 1000 and they drive of a mexican cliff.

Casey Mears slips into Phoenix garage and re wraps both the 48 and 5 and Jimmy drives Casey’s car.

Jeff Gordon in a cost cutting move ensuring he doesn’t make over 250,000 dollars a year, fires his driver.

The warranty runs out on the Kobalt airguns.

Kyle Busch steals back his helmet.

Carl Edwards wins Texas and forgets to point the six shooters in the air.


Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

Voices From The Cheap Seats: The Tale Of Two Tires
BSNews! Bruton’s Plans Extend Beyond Bristol’s Track
Top Ten Reasons Fans Failed To Show Up At Bristol Sunday
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Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.