The Frontstretch: Top Ten Ways To Make the California Race More Exciting by Jeff Meyer -- Wednesday February 25, 2009

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Top Ten Ways To Make the California Race More Exciting

Frontstretch Top Ten · Jeff Meyer · Wednesday February 25, 2009


10. Secure sponsorship for various cars from the Crips, Bloods, and other notorious gangs.

Imagine this abomination on a BBQ spit. Wouldn’t that make your Fontana experience just a little more interesting?

9. Help NASCAR’s diversity endeavor by replacing regular pit crews with said gang members.

8. Have the boys of the band as the featured entertainment.

7. Issue each driver a 9mm and allow “drive-bys.”

6. Unbeknownst to the drivers, replace their spotters with boys from the hood.

5. Tell illegals that there is a better life on the other side of the track. Call it the “Frogger 500.”

4. Have retired Sheriff John Bunnell do the entire race broadcast.

3. Host the first annual Gopher BBQ Cook-Off.

2. Combine the Oscars and the race. Put nominees for each category in a race car and run short shootout races all day. The winner of each segment wins the Oscar!

1. Do a reverse blackout. Make it available on TV only in Southern California. The rest of us will wait for tomorrow’s sports page…

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Kevin in SoCal
02/25/2009 03:30 AM

11. Realize that no amount of crying or complaining from the fans is going to change NASCAR’s decision to race in SoCal twice a year. Sit back, grab a beer, and enjoy the race for what it is: a competition between 43 drivers, 43 cars, 43 pit crews, and 43 engines screaming to be out in front. It doesnt get much better than a NASCAR race at any track in the country.

Jeff G
02/25/2009 07:14 AM

No. 1 is a great idea. Kevin in SoCal will be happy, and the rest of us in the country can get to bed early!

Kevin in SoCal
02/25/2009 12:09 PM

You dont need the sport or the TV stations to have a blackout. If you dont like what you see, just dont watch.
If only more people would practice self-censorship for themselves and their children, we wouldnt have so many cry-babies about the stuff seen on TV. But that’s a topic for another website.

02/25/2009 12:10 PM

This list is disgusting. There is absolutely nothing funny about gangs and drive-by shootings. And don’t go telling me to relax, it’s only a joke. How would you feel if your family was torn apart by gang related violence, Jeff? And to imply that illegal aliens should run across a track during a race? How on earth is making fun of foreigners getting killed even remotely amusing? I hope for your sake there is no such thing as Karma.

L Taylor
02/25/2009 12:16 PM

11. Move it to N. Wilkesboro

Shayne Flaherty
02/25/2009 12:47 PM

LMAO. I see a representative from the “Highly Offended Morals Office” HOMO, for short, has spoken.

Enrique Estrada
02/25/2009 12:56 PM

Mister jeff Meyer you hav made me very offensive with Mexican heat that you said. i will not anymore read the frontstretch for mi tales of juan Pablo Montoya feets.

Not all Mexicano are in plaid shirts and are legal. and most are gone back now from no jobs here.

Please sorry for your words mister Meyer.

02/25/2009 06:57 PM

This is an awesome top ten list, somehow I don’t think any of these will be implemented. You can post this to our site and then link back to your site. The coolest feature is you can let other people vote on the rankings of your list.

Jeff Meyer
02/25/2009 07:05 PM

Dear Disgusted:
I live in rural Iowa for precisely those types of reasons. We (for the most part, cept maybe in Des Moines) don’t put up with that crap here. We run the gangs out of town. That song don’t play here, homey!
As for implying illegal aliens should run across a track while a race is in progress…..If you are from S.Cal….pay attention while you drive on the freeway! Here, we have signs warning of deer crossing the road. So. Cal has signs of illegal aliens crossing the road. And I never implied that they should be hit! If you are a good driver, and they are fast, all should be good!
How come you never mentioned the Digger BBQ? That must be ok. They are after all just pot roasts with legs! (and quite tasty I might add!)
J. Meyer

Paul F.
02/25/2009 07:18 PM

This was hilarious. I think just about any use for the California track outside of Cup racing would be an improvement. Me and my buddy tried brainstorming ways to make the track more fundamentally boring(within reason…there could be a 500 mile strip of asphalt they race on…) and got stuck at none.

Oh, and it’s the internet. If you get offended by words, the internet is probably the last place you want to be.

Foreigners and illegals are not the same either. Illegals are criminals.

02/25/2009 07:26 PM

What California Speedway needs to do is what Homestead-Miami and Las Vegas did to perfection and that is to increase the banking in the turns.

I say the track’s banking should be doubled from 14 degrees to 28 degrees in all the turns. That will certainly make the California racing more exciting.

The thing that would really make the racing at California more exciting would be to get rid of Brian France and that repulsive piece of garbage that NASCAR calls a race car.

big donkey
02/25/2009 10:02 PM

Jeff, I can’t believe you let “disgusted” get to you. Didn’t your Mama ever tell you to not make fun of the retards?

02/25/2009 10:46 PM

the best thing to do with california is forget it happened and do the rock again or darlington. that race every time is the best sleep aid money can buy. please black it out so i won’t watch just to hope something exciting might happen. the frogger 500 would be great to watch. i think the next cali race i will just watch paint dry,


Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

Voices From The Cheap Seats: The Tale Of Two Tires
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