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Top Ten · Jeff Meyer · Wednesday March 18, 2009
10. Let them use the newly named “Robby Gordon Memorial Shortcut” through the infield so they stay more competitive.
9. Instead of a ‘remote kill’ switch, such as used in monster truck events, NASCAR will install a ‘remote start’ switch and let some kid with a remote control finish the race.
8. Start referring to them not as ‘start and parkers’, because Mike Helton doesn’t like that term, but rather TCCs (Teams Competitively Challenged).
7. Can NASCAR do anything anyway? “Sure we can,” said vice president of competition and stupid statements, Robin Pemberton. “If somebody says the motor was sputtering due to a fuel pump problem, we can take it apart and look at it.” Why not START IT UP AND SEE, Robin!?
6. Ask Brian France what to do about it and institute the exact opposite.
5. Shorten most races by 480 miles or 480 laps and issue everyone “Participation Trophies.”
4. Publicly say they are cracking down but privately call teams and ask them to do it.
3. Institute a “Park and Ride” initiative, putting start and parkers in with other top tier drivers so they get the feel for a full race and won’t be so scared next time.
2. Not a damn thing.
1. Put up TWO “No Start and Park” signs in each pit … akin to a double yellow line.
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I dig the satire Mr. Meyer, nicely done.
You know, these start/park guys bother me. You take a look at a team like Mayfield Motorsports, or TBR, and those guys are actually trying to claw their way into the sport independently, going week to week with what ever sponsor money they can scrounge up, and sometimes these start and park guys’ll outqualify them and then just quit, collecting more points than the legitimate teams. Now that’s a shame.
Why not START IT UP AND SEE, Robin!?
I’ll take number 2 please . Give this non-issue a rest . Cute bit of writing , but this problem really isn’t a problem at all .
If the Mayfield an similar teams can’t qualify ahead of the start and parkers, they don’t deserve to be in the field. If a car qualifies for a race, I don’t care what they do in the race. They got in fair and square.
I don’t remember who said it, or during which broadcast, but it was said that the start/parkers will hotrod their setup for qualifying a little more than those guys who intend to run the full race because they don’t need their cars to last 4 or 500 miles. Basically, that’s the only way those slimy start/parkers can outqualify legitimate teams like Tommy Baldwin Racing.
By the way, if anyone else heard about that qualifying trick, back me up, because I don’t have an exact reference for that, thank you.
Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:
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Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.