The Frontstretch: Top Ten Things Brian France Has Scheduled For Today, Wednesday, April 1st by Jeff Meyer -- Wednesday April 1, 2009

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10. Enroll in a public speaking class at a local community college.

Today, I am happy to announce that I am going to start doing the right things for stock car racing. And yes, it is April 1st.

9. Donate $5 million of his own money to the NAACP in honor of Mauricia Grant.

8. Give Goodyear an ultimatum: Get with the program or else!

7. Publicly admit the Chase was a bad idea.

6. Install one of those alcohol blow thingys in his Lexus.

5. Call Bruton Smith and inform him that Kentucky Speedway has been granted a Cup date on the 2010 schedule.

4. Announce to the world that he is stepping down as the head of NASCAR.

3. Give a motivational speech at a local AA meeting.

2. Worry briefly about the price of a gallon of gas.

1. Wake up and just be himself!

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OuttaHere
04/01/2009 12:43 AM
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By gosh Jeff got a good top 10 this time. I’m the first to rag on Jeff (I usually find him off color somewhere), but he NAILED this one. Brilliant list. Clearly Brian France has never done the “Smarty Pants Dance”. Poor scrub (well, rich scrub) prob couldn’t pull a 2.3 GPA at a po-dunk Community College. How Bill Jr put this schlub in charge is beyond me. God, is the rest of the family SO ignorant that Brian is the brains of the operation. Oh I hope not. Just frightening. Oh well, he gets what he deserves – dwindling TV ratings, sponsors pulling out right and left, TONS of empty seats, declining merchandise sales, etc. Way to sink the ship, Francy!!

Blachley
04/01/2009 02:57 AM
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Just a word or two, Brian’ it was Racing NOT a show, and it was run by racers not, Gucci Gulchers.
Come on Brian make us proud, give it a try, go back to NASCAR RACING, go back, dust off some of the the old ideas they worked then, and will again. I am not hiding behind some funny name, how about you coming out and talking to the racers?.

Douglas
04/01/2009 07:39 AM
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A “perfect” day for Brian today! There is no bigger FOOL in the world than King Brian!

(unless of course you count the fans that
still buy tickets to his three (3) ring circus!)

MR ED
04/01/2009 10:27 AM
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OK this top 10 is real good

Kevin in SoCal
04/01/2009 12:37 PM
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Regarding #6 and #3, are you trying to say he’s a drunk, or he must be drinking too much to come up with his ideas? I dont remember seeing any evidence of him having an alcohol problem. What’d I miss?

Vince
04/01/2009 03:44 PM
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This is a funny list, the caption under the picture is the best part.

mkrcr
04/01/2009 04:41 PM
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Kevin in SoCal…I agree. There always seems to be inside comments but nobody comes forward with facts.
Not that it’s going to change anything, but if you’re going to sling dirt, show the shovel.

Pcarp
04/01/2009 08:55 PM
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If my memory is correct, BF crashed his suv into a tree while in the parking lot at his condo a few years back. Then did a Mikey Waltrip… Hide, deny, and utimatly have the whole incident covered up. Remember, you get all the justice you can afford.

 

Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

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Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.