The Frontstretch: Top Ten Reasons Jeff Gordon Finally Won At Texas by Jeff Meyer -- Wednesday April 8, 2009

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Top Ten Reasons Jeff Gordon Finally Won At Texas

Jeff Meyer · Wednesday April 8, 2009


10. His new wife had begun to question him: “I thought you said you were good at this racing stuff?”

Yes, this is the same Jeff Gordon who was the only Chase driver of 2004 to not endorse George W. Bush for president. There is something wrong with this picture.

9. He and Jeff Hammond had plans for later in the evening, and Gordon needed something to wear that would match.

8. Wanted some new handguns and didn’t want to mess with the “required waiting period.”

7. He heard that owner Rick Hendrick had begun to inquire of his lawyers as to the exact definition of a “lifetime contract.”

6. He wasn’t distracted by having a supermodel nagging him at the track this weekend.

5. His quarterly alimony payment was due.

4. Carl Edwards’ pit crew.

3. Apparently his “pole” was longer than Junior’s and, therefore, he was able to find his pit stall.

2. Chad and Jimmie mistakenly thought the race was 503 miles.

1. Wanted to show the Busch brothers and the fans how real racers celebrate a victory on “Burnout Alley!”

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04/08/2009 07:59 AM

In my opinion the ONLY reason he won was because Carl,s pit crew gave it to him. So that should be the number one reason.

04/08/2009 08:15 AM

I have to agree with Johnboy60

04/08/2009 10:50 AM

Hmmmm…..How many has Carl won the same way? It’s just another part of the game!

04/08/2009 10:52 PM

Jeff, you need to let Bill Engvall or Larry the Cable Guy handle the funny stuff. Say, what is your day job, anyway?


Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

Voices From The Cheap Seats: The Tale Of Two Tires
BSNews! Bruton’s Plans Extend Beyond Bristol’s Track
Top Ten Reasons Fans Failed To Show Up At Bristol Sunday
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Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.