The Frontstretch: Frontstretch Top Ten: Top Ten Things Tony Stewart Will be Doing This Week by Jeff Meyer -- Wednesday March 15, 2006

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10. Setting fire to any and all shrubbery on his property.

9. Changing his favorite cereal from Frosted Flakes to Post Toasties.

8. Chuckling to himself every time he muses"¦”That little punk drives like a frosted flake.”

7. Work on a device to “bleed” into the other team’s radios so he can remind them he is the reigning champ and to get out of his way.

6. Sneak into the Hendrick garage and paint the roof flaps on the No. 5 car to look like ears for a good laugh the next time Kyle spins.

5. “Borrow” Kyle’s cell phone and call Jimmy Spencer at 3 a.m. and say, “You know, my motor coach may not be called the "˜Mayflower’, but your wife sure came across in it!”

4. Paint all his garage doors to resemble the rear ends of various teams’ cars so all he has to do is push a button and the "˜magically’ vanish, letting him through.

3. Regret the fact that he let Mike Helton in front of him at the driver’s buffet. (And he thought Kyle was holding him up!)

2. Point out Kyle’s motor coach to Jimmy Spencer.

1. Give the No. 20 car a Maricopa County sheriff’s department paint scheme. Figures that even if Kyle won’t pull over, it will sure scare the hell out of big brother Kurt!

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Steve Cargal
03/15/2006 04:56 AM
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!!!!!!!

M. B. Voelker
03/15/2006 07:45 AM
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LOL!

Rajeev Jaswal
03/15/2006 08:30 AM
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That’s hilarious!

kc
03/15/2006 08:44 AM
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I think you should leave jimmy S’s wife out of this! she is innocent!
and it would be funny to see ears on Kyle’s car! :)

Hazel
03/15/2006 10:40 AM
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Hilarious!!

Coop
03/15/2006 03:22 PM
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All are good – but really love #6 and #1.

24
03/15/2006 03:43 PM
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Absolutely terrific!!!

Maybe he’ll take xlax so he can relieve himself in his car at Atlanta.

ct
03/15/2006 05:45 PM
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These are pretty funny, but we can leave out Jimmy’s wife. Jimmy could beat the tar out of both busch boys at once. I think the mexicans are looking for kyle aren’t they?

J. Meyer
03/15/2006 08:13 PM
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Hey!!!! In my defense, let me just say that I never intended to bring Jimmy’s wife into this! That was the editors doing! The original draft said ‘daughter’.....

dw
03/16/2006 10:14 AM
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#5 is just tacky. Plain and simple – tacky.

FORDRULES
03/16/2006 04:04 PM
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#5 May be tacky, but it was still funny.

lee
03/16/2006 06:11 PM
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it rocked!!!!!!!!!!!!

el papa
03/16/2006 06:12 PM
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it rocked like dale jr at daytona!!!!!

brass2
03/23/2006 09:19 AM
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excellent!

 

Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

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