The Frontstretch: Top Ten Similarities Between Brian France & NASCAR and Michael Jackson & Neverland Ranch by Jeff Meyer -- Wednesday July 8, 2009

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10. Their “hay day” has long past.

9. Both have produced an occasional “Thriller,” but not very often.

8. Unless there is a tragic fire, both will be the same color when they die/died (DYED?).

7. The tower Brian lives in is exactly the same color as Michael’s skin.

NASCAR is pulling out all the stops to turn around their recent ratings decline, to the point Jeff Meyer thinks they’ll try just about anything once come Daytona in 2010 … including a little “wardrobe malfunction” from one of their top executives.

6. Both Brian and Michael give me the willies just looking at them.

5. Michael spent most of his life just wishing he could be a talented white guy, while Brian has spent a good amount of time wishing for a talented black guy.

4. Neverland and a NASCAR event share the same atmosphere.

3. Brian is not as picky as Michael, as he’s been screwing fans of all ages and sexes for years.

2. One had everything given to him by his dad, the other, well … looks like dad will get everything.

1. Rumors have it that Brian’s sister Lesa will have an unexpected “wardrobe malfunction” during next year’s opening ceremony of “NASCAR’s Super Bowl,” the Daytona 500.

Editor’s Note: Looking for a few more laughs today? If you haven’t seen it yet, check out this week’s Frontstretch Foto Funnies – Cutting Room Floor Edition, as Kurt Smith tells the story behind the pictures of some of your favorite drivers! If you need a little distraction from your driver getting hit by the Big One, or you need something to simply lighten up your day … this is the perfect column for you! Go check it out!

Contact Jeff Meyer

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Douglas
07/08/2009 08:04 AM
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There is however, one (1) big difference between Michael (RIP), and King Brian!

Michael ATTRACTED fans!

King Brian REPELS fans!

And while we can call Michael’s death a real tradgedy, we could call King Brians death a real god-send!

(gee, that is cruel right),(any big large trees to hit on his drive home?)

And, while Michael may have been on injectable drugs, poor King Brian is on the liquid version, taken frequently by mouth. Now, if alchohol kills brain cells, I certainly hope King Brian protects the two (2) he has left!

mikeG
07/08/2009 09:03 AM
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“3. Brian is not as picky as Michael, as he’s been screwing fans of all ages and sexes for years.”

Fantastic! This should have been number 1.

I know it will happen…but I hope Brian France NEVER makes the HOF….But he should be the first in the nascar Hall Of Shame.

Michael
07/08/2009 10:10 AM
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Jeff my man , you are proof positive that having your own blog requires no brains , talent , or common sense of any kind , you only need a keyboard .

Nikki
07/08/2009 10:43 AM
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Really? That’s supposed to be funny? Hmmm…

Mike in Floyd Va
07/08/2009 11:37 AM
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Michael Jackson enjoyed going around in circles on his Neverland Ranch ferris wheel. Brian the Brainless likes going around in circles on his bar stool at the Chart House in Daytona.

KRBama
07/08/2009 12:11 PM
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Obviously you didn’t do your research, because Joe Jackson, Michael’s father, was left out of his will and got nothing. This article was pointless, and not at all entertaining.

Andrew
07/08/2009 01:03 PM
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Wow, these sucked.

HankZ
07/08/2009 01:11 PM
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What, nothing about Bubbles the pet monkey in here?
:)

Jeff Meyer
07/08/2009 01:17 PM
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HankZ,

Sorry Hank, jokes about pet monkeys is a moral line that I am not willing to cross. It would be in bad taste and I hold myself to a higher journalistic standard than that!

Jeff M

mg
07/08/2009 01:37 PM
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Ha Ha! Look at all the Michael Jackson lovers coming here to defend his holiness!

Turn off American Idol, Oprah….hell, just turn the damn TV off! And get a life!

ginger
07/08/2009 02:49 PM
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What a total waste of time. It’s obvious you know little about MJ, and have no class at all.

mkrcr
07/08/2009 04:47 PM
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I know enough about MJ. A glorified pedophile who bought his was out of prosecution. If BF has a secret room in his bedroom, with motion sensors in the hallway, I’m sure it’s just to protect his private reserve.

Ken
07/08/2009 06:14 PM
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MikeG, if they nominated a felonous scumbag like Rick Hendrick for the Hall of Fame, you can bet that Brian France will sadly be nominated.

Bob
07/08/2009 06:43 PM
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Oh boy!

Joe
07/08/2009 11:47 PM
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i LOL’d hard at #3, theres going to be alot of us going to hell for laughing at that..

I’ll take a window seat plz

 

Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

Voices From The Cheap Seats: The Tale Of Two Tires
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Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.