Promo code: Front
Find tons of cheap speedway tickets like Talladega race tickets, NASCAR Sprint Cup tickets, NASCAR Nationwide Series tickets and the full 2011 Monster Jam schedule.

Don't miss this week's edition!
Frontstretch Podcast: November 18th Edition
Check in with Matt and Jay on their site at CareyandCoffey.com.
![]() |
||
|
|
![]() |
|
|
|
||
![]() |
||
|
|
||
![]() |
||
|
|
||
![]() |
||
|
|
||
![]() |
||
![]() |
||
|
|
| Subscribe to The Frontstretch Newsletter |
| Visit this group |
Miss out on your favorite driver's report card / season preview? Just click the link above and you can find them all archived together!
TweetTop Ten Things Bob Griese Could Have Said That Would Have Actually Been An Insult
Frontstretch Top Ten · Jeff Meyer · Wednesday October 28, 2009
Author’s Note: A special “thank you” to all those on our Frontstretch Forums and some Frontstretch staff, who contributed to this list. Sorry I couldn’t use them all! (Don’t worry, I will serve any suspension that may arise from the publication of this list!)

I hear you’ve been hooking up the France brotherhood. Got some for me?
10. “All them other rednecks took him snipe hunting, and he was late for the start.”
9. “NASCAR was raided by INS, so Juan had to hide for awhile.”
8. “He couldn’t find a pair of jumper cables to get his car started.”
7. “He’s probably over at the Hendrick trailer stealing parts.”
6. “Maybe he’s out eating a ‘taco,’ if you know what I mean!”
5. “Couldn’t get his helmet over his sombrero.”
4. “He had to make sure hired hand, Juan Valdez, wasn’t just sitting on his ass and was actually getting the family ‘crop’ in.”
3. “Maybe his hands cramped up from making those funky gang signs.”
2. “Maybe he swung by Michael Waltrip’s place to give him a ride, and they ended up at the wrong track.”
1. “He had to deliver a special order of ‘Juablow’ to the J. C. France residence.”
Editor’s Note: If you haven’t seen it yet, check out this week’s Frontstretch Foto Funnies – Martinsville Edition, as Kurt Smith tells the story behind the pictures of your favorite drivers this weekend! It won’t take long, and hopefully you can have a good laugh — especially if Sunday’s race put you to sleep!
This Week on the Frontstretch:
Mirror Driving: Rebuilding Denny Hamlin, Kurt Busch, Penske, And The NASCAR Banquet’s Future
The Only Thing Mutual? Penske, Kurt Busch Both Stand to Lose Big
Who Gets An Early Christmas Gift? Sorting Through Potential Busch Replacements
Burned At The YouTube Stake: How Technology Brought Busch Down
2011 NASCAR Driver Review: Justin Allgaier
2011 NASCAR Driver Review: A.J. Allmendinger
2011 NASCAR Driver Review: Aric Almirola
2011 NASCAR Driver Review: Marcos Ambrose
2011 NASCAR Driver Review: Michael Annett
2011 NASCAR Driver Review: Greg Biffle
2011 Driver Review Schedule
FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER! CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP
©2000 - 2008 Jeff Meyer and Frontstetch.com. Thanks for visiting the Frontstretch!

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:
Top Ten Reasons Fans Failed To Show Up At Bristol Sunday
BSNews! NASCAR CEO Given "Special" Award Amidst Lavish Fanfare
Fan Coun-ci-What? Just What Is It That NASCAR Wants To Study?
Top Ten Reasons People With No Sense of Humor Write In And Complain About These Lists
NASCAR Approves of Edwards’ Actions While Placating Whiny Fans
Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.

















