The Frontstretch: Top Ten Reasons Kevin Conway Isn't Running The Extenze Car At Daytona by Jeff Meyer -- Wednesday February 3, 2010

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10. He has yet to confirm Brian France as his friend on Facebook.

I don’t think that male enhancement products have any place in our sport. And yes, I am saying that with a straight face.

9. NASCAR’s recently announced banned substance list clearly states no “performance-enhancing drugs.”

8. Turns out the exhaust pipes on the Extenze car are way over spec.

7. NASCAR officials are still unsure what the effects of an accidental woody would be in such proximity to the steering wheel. I know I’d have one if I were driving in the Daytona 500 for the first time!

6. Respected veteran Mark Martin has objected to Kevin and the sponsor’s participation on moral grounds.

5. Kevin just won’t stop pushing the product in the garage into the face of anyone who will look … I mean listen.

4. Television and NASCAR censors are still debating about Extenze’s new slogan, a play off President Teddy Roosevelt’s famous quote, “Speak softly but carry a big stick!”

3. Officials fear Kevin’s car may have a slight advantage if it were to come down to a photo finish against another competitor.

2. Hey, they never ever really let “Enzyte Bob” run in NASCAR, either. That was just a commercial, people!

1. After trying a sample at Kevin’s request, Brian France claims that all it did for him was to make his head swell up to the point his cap didn’t fit. I guess it really does work!

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wingcars6970
02/03/2010 08:30 PM
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Nicely Putz – I mean put!!

Alex M
02/03/2010 09:49 PM
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The Extenze article is too dirty for a racing website. I don’t like it and it’s below class. Maybe to a Top 10 Poll on how long everyone thinks that FRM’s cars will be in the Top 35 and especially Boris’ car since he’ll be admittedly S&P’ing the first 5.

Thanks for hiring Brock Beard to run the Bubble Teams page though!!

 

Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

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Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.