The Frontstretch: Top Ten Things Jeff Gordon Plans to Do or Say to Jimmie Johnson by Jeff Meyer -- Wednesday April 28, 2010

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10. “Just remember, your four Cups are ‘Made for TV’ Cups. Mine are real!”

9. “Did you forget who got you that ride?”

Wow, I get to drive the No. 48 car? Dang if Daddy’s not rich!

8. Threaten to sit JJ for two weeks and replace him with John Wes Townley.

7. Buy him a better spotter.

6. C’mon Jeff … man up and just punch the little $#^&@* in the face and be done with it!

5. “Now Jimmie, you are really trying my patience!” (With a stern finger waggle.)

4. Buy the other half of the No. 48’s ownership from Rick Hendrick so he can issue Jimmie team orders.

3. Nothing. Jeff only talks a good game.

2. Go back and watch the tapes of himself pushing Matt Kenseth while sipping on some ‘liquid courage,’ trying to get up the nerve to do something. (Note to self: Leave the helmet on!)

1. Secretly swap the first numbers of the No. 88 before each race, thereby eliminating even the possibility of JJ being in front of him!

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noel_w
04/28/2010 07:17 PM
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Numbers 7, 6, 4, 3, 2, and 1 are not things being said. If you are going to rip-off David Letterman then at least do it well.

Mr. Goodwrench
04/28/2010 09:40 PM
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Someone needs to tell the head honcho that the fake WWE fighting isn’t flying and its time for plan B. I can’t believe they have sunk this low.

Jeff M. Frontstretch staff
04/29/2010 07:50 PM
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Yo, Noel_w, your are right! Those are NOT things ‘being’ said! You are a genius! Now….go back and READ THE TITLE AGAIN….slowly this time!

 

Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

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Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.