The Frontstretch: Voices From the Heartland: I'll Take "New" Busch Over "Old" Anyday by Jeff Meyer -- Wednesday June 2, 2010

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Editor’s Note: Turns out the news of Jeff Meyer’s demise is greatly exaggerated. After a three-and-a-half month sabbatical, one of the site’s fan favorites has returned! Come back every Thursday for his one-of-a-kind look at the sport we all love with Voices of The Heartland.

As I watched the races these past two weeks at Charlotte Motor Speedway, I had an epiphany of sorts; and unlike a few others I’ve had recently, it didn’t even hurt!

I realized that the mere mention of Kurt Busch’s name, let alone him actually winning first the All-Star race and then the Coca-Cola 600, no longer evoked the same emotions that it did in the past — say, seven or eight years ago. I further realized, rather ironically I might add, that all because of this sport (oh sorry, I mean show) called NASCAR, the name “Busch” now brings out four distinct emotions in me, depending on the name that precedes it!

To clear things up on one ultra important note, if we are talking about “Anheuser,” make mine a Busch Light, please! Some things will never change; so that covers my sense of loyalty.

The only thing Jeff Meyer dislikes more than brussel sprouts is a Busch.

Then, along came a rather goofy-looking fellow named “Kurt.” As longtime readers of this column can attest, over the years (especially the earlier ones) I have pulled no punches when it came to making fun of the brash and outspoken “young” Kurt. Why, more than once, especially after Jimmy Spencer punched him in the face, I often referred to Kurt as the “Alfred E. Newman” of NASCAR. The man simply brought out the closest thing to pure loathing in me as, say, brussel sprouts!

Sadly, however, after stopping Jimmy’s fist with his face, then finally being able to afford having his ears surgically pinned back before the ultimate neutering, marriage, the man was just no fun anymore. Fortunately, for the rest of us in the racing world, as one Busch was maturing to the point that the feeling of apathy was or is now associated with him, Ma and Pa Busch unveiled their next experimental human: Kyle!

Right from the get go, that young Busch was somehow, quite unbelievably, even more annoying and loathsome (not to mention somewhat goofier looking) than his big brother! I didn’t think it was possible, but there it was, week after week after week!

Now before I get tons of hate mail, I will say this: Kyle, he IS one heck of a race car driver. That, I do not deny. If he had one bit of a halfway likable personality, I might even be a fan; but it just ain’t happening! I would be a fan of brussel sprouts before I will Kyle.

Recently, with vaunted anticipation of maturation no doubt, many have been talking about the “new” Kyle Busch. So much talk, in fact, that when I kept hearing about him, I thought maybe, taking a cue from his big brother, that he had had “work” done to his head also… say maybe a nose job or something. But no, that was not the case. It was getting to the point that I was afeered (that means skeert!) I may have to start liking the kid or, at the very least, assign to him even more apathy than I now do his big brother. Thank goodness the All-Star race changed all that! Thank you, Denny Hamlin for giving us the “old” Kyle back. Some of us were starting to worry.

Lastly but not leastly, thanks to NASCAR and the forums of this Web site, the name “Busch” brings out feelings of love in me (who doesn’t love love?) when you put the name “Lisa” in front of it. Lisa is my girlfriend of a couple of years now and she is a even bigger fan of NASCAR than me… wait, let me rephrase that… she enjoys NASCAR more than I… and dislikes Kyle almost as much as I!

So ya see, sometimes its funny how things turn out in life and NASCAR. You just can’t be too sure where you will end up or what a name will mean to you. Now, while I do know that my Lisa is a very, very distant relative (so distant that they don’t even get free beer) of the Anheuser-Busch fame, there have been no inquiries as to being somehow related to Kurt and Kyle… and that is just fine by me! I’m not sure I could abide by that!

Meanwhile, don’t be a Kyle, and

Stay off the wall!

Jeff Meyer

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06/03/2010 09:23 AM

Jeff, you are much nicer than I would be in you assessment of Kylie Poo! He is in need of, and will someday get, a serious ass-kicking! It made a great change in his brother and will help Kylie Poo too!!

06/03/2010 11:42 AM

Jeff, this article is a prime example of how many of our present society live in the Barbie/Ken world. Nothing wrong with that if you are judging a beauty
contest or if you are looking for another boyfriend or a new husband. But please leave it at the door when you enter the sports world of competititon.
Appreciate the competitor only for his talent not his physical looks, personality or last name. How sad that we have arrived to this point where a sports competitor´s talent is mixed with issues outside of the sport itself.

06/03/2010 02:35 PM

here’s to the new kyle, same as the old kyle. He can obviously wheel a race car, but his people skills are seriously lacking. It isn’t his looks that turn me off, but his attitude and arrogance sure do. Its one this to be proud of your skills, but when you display such a mean-spirited nature, well, I’m not going to become a fan. I like the “experimental human” thought. His parents must have left him out in the desert to be raised by coyotes for all the manners and grace he has.

Jeff Meyer-FS staff
06/03/2010 06:12 PM

To Jer,

Im not living in a Barbie/Ken world. Have you seen my face lately!? Look me up on Facebook. Granted, looks have nothing to do with it, but it has been fun, as an OPINION piece writer, to make fun of the Busch bros over the years. However,to say that personality has no bearing is way off base! Many a professional athlete has had great talent but is a total d&%khead. Those are not the type that should be role models for our kids, and like it or not, our society has time and time again been of the opinion that pro athletes ARE role models whether they want to be or not.

Kyle Busch is extremely talented in a race car. Outside of it, he has a lot to be desired, just as his older brother once did.

06/04/2010 02:40 AM

Jeff dear, welcome back!!

Funny how timely your column is. Roommate & I were just talking about Kurt and how much he has changed. We didn’t mind at all that he won Charlotte. Agree with your ASSessment of Weed, KyB.

We have a cat named Millie. Her nickname is Millerbeer. Yeah, Kurt’s grown on us.

06/07/2010 12:52 PM

HEY! what ahppened to my replyha

06/07/2010 12:56 PM

Geez Jeff, I LIKE brussels sprouts AND Kyle!!

Im just weird like that I reckon.

BTW regarding A portion of your article, “Many a professional athlete has had great talent but is a total d&%khead. Those are not the type that should be role models for our kids,”

I couldnt agree more!!…Uhh…you were talking about Carl Edwards there right?


Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

Voices From The Cheap Seats: The Tale Of Two Tires
BSNews! Bruton’s Plans Extend Beyond Bristol’s Track
Top Ten Reasons Fans Failed To Show Up At Bristol Sunday
BSNews! NASCAR CEO Given "Special" Award Amidst Lavish Fanfare
Fan Coun-ci-What? Just What Is It That NASCAR Wants To Study?

Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.