The Frontstretch: NASCAR Conspiracy Theory: Are the Helicopters Really Black? by Jeff Meyer -- Thursday June 10, 2010

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NASCAR Conspiracy Theory: Are the Helicopters Really Black?

Voices From the Heartland · Jeff Meyer · Thursday June 10, 2010


When it comes to conspiracy theories, the world is full of them. Hell, it’s been almost 50 years now and we still are a country divided on whether there was someone on the grassy knoll! Some say, though not usually people you’d take home to meet your mother, that there was not even a grassy knoll, just more of a “slight rise in the landscape…” but they are mostly crackpots.

Over the years, NASCAR has abounded with conspiracy theories. They are a dime a dozen, everything from “NASCAR favors this (or that) driver / owner” to “NASCAR faked Dale Earnhardt’s death in order to boost popularity ratings.” We, well most of us anyways, take them with a grain of salt.

Yet even though most of the population – OK, let me rephrase that, population that still possesses common sense – won’t believe the latest conspiracy theory someone may throw out there, we still sit there and wonder… how in the heck did someone come up with that! I mean, it’s become such a fascination that “they” even make television documentaries out of it, such as: our own government blew up the Twin Towers, for reasons I didn’t catch or were so absurd I’d forgotten.

At any rate, I don’t consider myself to be a “conspiracist.” Oh sure, over the years, I may have written some stuff that many have thought were “way out there” when it comes to NASCAR; but most of it, if not all, has never been proven to be untrue! Even so, thinking back to “how do these people come up with this stuff,” I’ve always felt a bit jealous that I never came up with my “own” way out there (or is it?), conspiracy theory… until now!

It is no secret that my favorite driver is Carl Edwards. In 2008, Edwards won nine of 36 races in the Cup series. It was a banner year! Finally, there was someone who might challenge Jimmie Johnson and Chad Knaus. But what has happened since? He’s gone winless in 50 starts, while his organization, Roush Fenway Racing, hasn’t won since Talladega last Fall.

What’s the problem? Everyone’s scratching their heads; but while perusing our forums the other day, someone brought up the point that, since the “testing ban” imposed by NASCAR at the end of 2008, the entire Jack Roush organization has been lacking a bit. The reason, it seems, not just on our forums but others as well, was that Jack had taken the testing ban “to the letter,” and had/has resorted to a more “digital” approach, relying on technology and simulators. Now, no one can deny that the RFR teams of Edwards, Greg Biffle, and Matt Kenseth have not really lived up to expectations of the last year and a half, but the blame has seemed to be placed squarely on Jack’s shoulders – all for following the “letter of NASCAR’s law” and foregoing actual testing altogether.

For years, Goodyear’s had their share of problems on the race track; but with the testing ban in place, there’s suddenly no shortage of teams ready and willing to help them get better.

But wait! There is another element that is at play here… and that is Goodyear!

Someone on our forums, while commenting on the RFR downturn, happened to mention the fact that, just a few years ago when testing was allowed, Goodyear had a hard time finding teams that would actually do a “public” tire test, just because obviously, since it would involve competing organizations, the knowledge would not be “privileged” to any one team! It was at that moment, when I read that, my own “conspiracy theory” began to take shape.

Now what I am about to say, I classify a “conspiracy theory” for a couple of reasons. One, I could be totally off base and just been drinking too much lately. Two, having said that, if I am right, well…you heard it here first! Remember, this is just something to mull over in your mind whilst sitting on the throne in the morning (or whenever). I will print it as I first wrote it on our forums, or as it occurred to me, so it may come off as a bit crude… in other words, right to the point!

“Consider this….could it be that NASCAR implemented the ‘no testing’ rule (however it reads) just to help out their longtime butt buddy, Goodyear?”

“I mean, everyone, from the media to the fans to the drivers, wanted Goodyear’s head on a platter just a couple of years ago (or less) because of the total POS CRAPPY tires they were providing! Perhaps it was meant, in reality, to “save” Goodyear money and Goodyear’s ass … thereby saving one of NASCAR’s biggest pocket liners! I mean, how much did Goodyear pay to be the only tire allowed on the track at their last renegotiation? And didn’t that renegotiation and the ban all take place about the same time???”

The Black Helicopters are circling!!!!!”

For the record, I’m not necessarily a true believer of my own conspiracy theory, but it was sort of an epiphany at the time! It all seemed to gel.

You may believe what you want. I’m just throwing possible scenarios out there, but I have been told one thing for a fact concerning my theory… the helicopters are not black. They are midnight blue!

At least we got that straight!

Stay off the wall (and off the “net” … no… wait, well read this bit anyway!)

Jeff Meyer

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06/10/2010 05:45 AM

While I do believe in quite a few of the conspiracy theories, like the mystery debris cautions, which all seem to happen when one of the big named guys will get save by them. They were even nicknamed Entertainment Cautions by Jeff Burton.

This one about Goodyear doesn’t hold water IMO. I think the only possible conspiracy, if you can even call it that because quite a few drivers hinted about it, is that NASCAR warned them not to say anything negative about Goodyear… Period! I’m sure the famous quote of “You need NASCAR more than NASCAR needs you.” was told to all the teams when it came to them bagging on Goodyear.

Also, it seems that Goodyear has erred on the side of caution this year and made their tires super tough. Look at how many races they are able to just change 2 tires now without the left sides blowing out.

For the record, if any shots came from the grassy knoll, they would have also hit Jackie O. This doesn’t mean I believe Oswald was the shooter though. :)

BTW, the NASCAR helicopters might be midnight blue, but last year, just a tad east of Fontana, a UFO was reported and the Black Helicopters showed up. They even had video of them on the news… no tail numbers or anything.

06/10/2010 09:18 AM

I hate to burst your bubble here Jeff , but the reason Goodyear is the sole race tire supplier is because Goodyear is grandfathered in . Union 76 was the same situation . Those contracts and relationships were done for the long term . Goodyear doesn’t really pay very much to NASCAR in comparison to some of the major sponsors . Sunoco is another example . The chance to be the sole race fuel supplier was dropped in their lap . According to their stock earnings ( actually the lack of stock earnings ) they don’t have the money to pay very much to NASCAR either .

The Mad Man
06/10/2010 11:08 AM

Goodyear just happens to be a customer of the Brand Sense marketing company which just happens to be owned and run by none other than Brian France, the same man who’s in charge of NA$CAR. No conspiracy there just a really strong case of conflict of interest.

When NA$CAR and Goodyear implemented the tire control policy, Roush had hundreds of tires in controlled storage so he could run as many tests as he wanted to. But when combined with nobody being able to test, the tires sort of gathered dust even though Roush is doing some testing at tracks not on the schedule. When you can’t test on the track you’re going to race at with the tire compounds you’ll actually be using, it sort of makes any other testing pretty useless except maybe for some aero data and maybe some data on the carbs and their venturis.

06/10/2010 09:09 PM

The only theory I have anymore is that the current NA$CAR hierarchy is JEST PLANE STUPID. No conspiracy there, just the factual evidence. Brian France wonders why his ankles are getting wet while listening to the wonderful orchestra and contemplating rearranging the deck chairs.


Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

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