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Jeff Meyer · Wednesday February 9, 2011
10. How to keep police from charging when you have a little “drunk driving” incident you’d like to sweep under the rug. If Michael Waltrip can write a book…
9. Directions for programming his new VCR. Betamax just wasn’t cutting it.
8. Explain to his staff that when he holds up two fingers, someone needs to take him poopy.
7. Revamp Connecticut’s penalties for public indecency and disorderly conduct so it is easier to get ESPN cronies out of trouble.
6. One and one and one is three. He’s got to be good looking ‘cause he’s so hard to see.
5. His divorce court records. (Thanks, Judge!)
4. Has instructed all network announcers to explain how the cars go straight for awhile, then turn left and eventually come back and do it all again.
3. Has decided to buy the Rosetta Stone English program so we might figure out what he is saying after all.
2. How toilet paper works.
1. Just exactly where the damn ice, rum, and coke is at all times!!!!
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I thought 2 fingers was “with ice” and 1 finger was for “no ice”. Thanks for clearing that up Jeff.
I like it! He’s now fixed all the things wrong with NASCAR racing — all the fans can hurry back.
Left out one: How it demonstrates NASCAR’s devotion to going green by recycling the unused ethanol as the base for Four Loko
Sometimes the “lucky sperm club” plays cruel jokes on us.
Come on man, this is just trash. You people in the media think that by bashing the sport its going to fix anything? This man has one of the most scrutinized jobs in sports because of his family heritage, cut him some slack, he’s only human. You people in the media make it seem that the sport is falling apart, the fans listen, and it forces NASCAR to make changes. Why don’t you focus on how he’s trying to make the sport better for you? I love comming to this site for some of the articles but seriously, don’t pass judgement on the man’s decisions until we see how this pans out. Come Homestead we may be calling him a genious. Just wait and see, and if it fails, then give him some constructive criticism, not tear him apart with personal attacks.
I believe you forgot to state how Brian France got off for DWI.
Probably why he is so sympathetic to others.
Let us not forget that smoking a joint is illegal but consuming a boatload of alcohol is not unless one is operating a motor vehicle.
I guess if one of these millionaire drivers commits a crime, it should be okay as long as they do not toke up.
Sorry either a sport one has definite rules which these millionaire drivers must abide to. But, sadly NA$CAR,as has been stated is merely entertainment. Just like wrestling and other fallible sports that are deemed to be sports.
Want racing, go to your local track. Want entertainment, abeit for what it is, watch a bunch of millionaires driving souped up go carts, because they do not resemble stock cars.
Come on Kevin, Brian France deserves this criticism. all the changes he keeps making are all made to fix his other changes. Oh I suppose he is bound to hit on something sooner or later, but by then it may be too late.
I’m not saying all of his changes have worked, and I know it may be too late if they don’t work soon, but the more negative press he gets from the media, the younger generation fans begin to follow the media and not see the racing for what its worth through their own eyes. I don’t usually comment on articles, but this set me off because it is degrading to the image of the man running the sport, not constructive criticism to help suggest ways to make the sport better. And to the writer/editor of the article, it says “The only comments that will not be published are comments that serve only to personally attack another commenter or the article writer…” I understand it is meant to be humorous, but where do you get the right to personally attack/insult the intelligence of this man? Yes, he has made mistakes, haven’t we all? I personally think this new system will have excellent results in the comming season.
Concluding: Don’t insult the man, but critique and evalute his decisions in the sport, praising the good and reevaluating the bad, how could we make it better. If the media could do this, the sport may thrive once again.
Kevin – Bill France, Sr. was good, Bill, Jr. was good – they were racers & understood the culture. The only reason BZF is where he is is, as you said, because of his heritage. He is a perfect example of the Peter Principle.
Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:
Voices From The Cheap Seats: The Tale Of Two Tires
BSNews! Bruton’s Plans Extend Beyond Bristol’s Track
Top Ten Reasons Fans Failed To Show Up At Bristol Sunday
BSNews! NASCAR CEO Given "Special" Award Amidst Lavish Fanfare
Fan Coun-ci-What? Just What Is It That NASCAR Wants To Study?
Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.