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TweetTop Ten problems that may arise once NASCAR becomes fully ‘Diversified'
Frontstretch Top Ten · Jeff Meyer · Tuesday May 23, 2006
(Author’s note: CAUTION! A lot of stereotypes are being used in this Top Ten. Do not be offended. This is what is known as satire/sarcasm. We are just having fun. I will attempt to offend all ethnic groups equally. If we can’t laugh at ourselves, well"¦you may need to find something better to do with your time than to get irate over this list.)
10. You may require not only a ticket, but proof of citizenship to get in the gate.
9. Some guy, wearing a No. 24 yarmulke, holds up the line as he haggles over the price of a kosher hot dog.
8. Larger vendor area needed to accommodate sudden influx of “Dale, Jr. Dingleballs” being sold out of the trunk of a tricked out ’64 Impala.
7. (Wow. A Jeff Gordon yarmulke!? That is just plain WRONG!)
6. Having to listen to our National Anthem in several different languages.
5. A “pass through the pits” penalty could possibly lead to a “drive by.”
4. Trouble in the stands; ""¦If you spit one more watermelon seed down my back!"¦"
3. Can’t see over the “Kurt Busch turban” sitting in front of you.
2. Problems in the restrooms from “non-ethnic” folks mixing ethnic food with too much beer.
1. Some savvy track promoter trying to segregate seating so when the fans do the wave, it looks like a giant checkered flag.
Thursday on the Frontstretch:
MPM2Nite: NASCAR’s Summer of Discontent
The Twitter NASCAR Revolution – A Trivial Pursuit?
Truckin’ Thursdays: A Look Back at Five Different Victors
Potts’ Shots: New Car Nuances And Goodbye To An Old Friend
Dollars And Sense: NASCAR Dumps Jump Co. As Ad Agency
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Coming from a Jewish person, #9 was priceless (but I wouldn’t be wearing #24).
I’m with you inrustyfan…NO #24 yarmulkes…but I’ll take that kosher hot dog!! grin Thanks for the laughs Jeff!
“Please to tell me… How many camelpower makes the engine in the riceburner car?”
If you’re gonna slander entire races of people, at least be funny. To prove my point, Michael Daly thought it WAS funny and tried to add his anger to your top ten.
Michael Daly thought my top ten was funny or slandering entire races of people was funny? (Gee! Michael Daly! I’m impressed)
P.S. See ‘Author’s Note’ at beginning of article…
Ok, I figured it out! Michael Daly is STP43FAN! Now that I know who Michael is, I AM honored!
Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:
BSNews! Bruton’s Plans Extend Beyond Bristol’s Track
Top Ten Reasons Fans Failed To Show Up At Bristol Sunday
BSNews! NASCAR CEO Given "Special" Award Amidst Lavish Fanfare
Fan Coun-ci-What? Just What Is It That NASCAR Wants To Study?
Top Ten Reasons People With No Sense of Humor Write In And Complain About These Lists
Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.

















