The Frontstretch: Top Ten problems that may arise once NASCAR becomes fully ‘Diversified' by Jeff Meyer -- Tuesday May 23, 2006

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Top Ten problems that may arise once NASCAR becomes fully ‘Diversified'

Frontstretch Top Ten · Jeff Meyer · Tuesday May 23, 2006

 

(Author’s note: CAUTION! A lot of stereotypes are being used in this Top Ten. Do not be offended. This is what is known as satire/sarcasm. We are just having fun. I will attempt to offend all ethnic groups equally. If we can’t laugh at ourselves, well"¦you may need to find something better to do with your time than to get irate over this list.)

10. You may require not only a ticket, but proof of citizenship to get in the gate.

9. Some guy, wearing a No. 24 yarmulke, holds up the line as he haggles over the price of a kosher hot dog.

8. Larger vendor area needed to accommodate sudden influx of “Dale, Jr. Dingleballs” being sold out of the trunk of a tricked out ’64 Impala.

7. (Wow. A Jeff Gordon yarmulke!? That is just plain WRONG!)

6. Having to listen to our National Anthem in several different languages.

5. A “pass through the pits” penalty could possibly lead to a “drive by.”

4. Trouble in the stands; ""¦If you spit one more watermelon seed down my back!"¦"

3. Can’t see over the “Kurt Busch turban” sitting in front of you.

2. Problems in the restrooms from “non-ethnic” folks mixing ethnic food with too much beer.

1. Some savvy track promoter trying to segregate seating so when the fans do the wave, it looks like a giant checkered flag.

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inrustyfan
05/24/2006 12:42 PM
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Coming from a Jewish person, #9 was priceless (but I wouldn’t be wearing #24).

Leah
05/24/2006 12:46 PM
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I’m with you inrustyfan…NO #24 yarmulkes…but I’ll take that kosher hot dog!! grin Thanks for the laughs Jeff!

STP43FAN
05/24/2006 03:53 PM
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We’ll REALLY be in trouble if someone starts yelling “BOBBY LABONTE AKBAR!!!!!!!!!!”

RW
05/24/2006 04:30 PM
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“Please to tell me… How many camelpower makes the engine in the riceburner car?”

RustyFan
05/24/2006 06:23 PM
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If you’re gonna slander entire races of people, at least be funny. To prove my point, Michael Daly thought it WAS funny and tried to add his anger to your top ten.

J. Meyer
05/24/2006 09:21 PM
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Michael Daly thought my top ten was funny or slandering entire races of people was funny? (Gee! Michael Daly! I’m impressed)
P.S. See ‘Author’s Note’ at beginning of article…

J. Meyer
05/24/2006 09:36 PM
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P.P.S. Who’s Michael Daly?

J. Meyer
05/25/2006 02:46 PM
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Ok, I figured it out! Michael Daly is STP43FAN! Now that I know who Michael is, I AM honored!

 

Contact Jeff Meyer

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