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Jeff Meyer · Wednesday June 1, 2011
10. Change his name to “Keni” so the other NASCAR drivers will stop making fun of him.
9. Hang out with Charlie Sheen so maybe he, too, can be WINNING!
8. Hang out at the Uptown Cabaret in downtown Charlotte.
7. Take Dancing With the Stars by storm.
6. Ditto American Idol… no wait, that won’t work… he’s Finnish.
5. Get someone to loan him a fancy Lexus like Kyle Busch.
4. Date Danica.
3. Try his hand at NASCAR (but harder this time).
2. Collect money for the Alabama and Missouri tornado victims.
1. Secure a dual sponsorship, combining Perky Jerky and ExtenZe so people will REALLY love his meat.
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Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:
Voices From The Cheap Seats: The Tale Of Two Tires
BSNews! Bruton’s Plans Extend Beyond Bristol’s Track
Top Ten Reasons Fans Failed To Show Up At Bristol Sunday
BSNews! NASCAR CEO Given "Special" Award Amidst Lavish Fanfare
Fan Coun-ci-What? Just What Is It That NASCAR Wants To Study?
Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.