The Frontstretch: Top Ten Things Juablo Threatened if NASCAR Didn’t Fine Ryan Newman for Punching Him by Jeff Meyer -- Wednesday June 15, 2011

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Juan Pablo Montoya may be all smiles most of the time, but that wasn’t the case when it came to an alleged punch from Ryan Newman.

10. Threatened to have his lawyer hold the door open of the NASCAR trailer so next time, he could, “Run away! Run away!”

9. That next time, he wouldn’t be so easy to hold back!

8. Threatened to… ”diga a prensa lo que dijo su ex esposa a mí sobre usted en cama anoche.”

7. ¡Diga a mi mami!

6. “Have my people ‘contact’ your people, if you know what I mean?!”

5. To start talking clearly so everyone can understand him.

4. Pee in the decorative plant pot in the corner of the trailer.

3. No one was quite sure at first… he was too busy having a conversation with Ryan’s fist.

2. Take his one NASCAR win and his “diversity” and go back to the IRL, Indy Car, F1… or wherever the hell he came from.

1. No longer supply Brian France with discount “WKRP in Cincinnati foot powder.”

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Christopher McGreevy
06/15/2011 04:09 PM

This is very stupid. Oh and Juan has TWO cup wins. Nice try, failed attempt.

Michael C.
06/15/2011 05:58 PM

Nice use of google translate…You should be ashamed! If you are gonna use a different language make sure you get it proofed.

06/15/2011 06:09 PM

Do you ever make funny lists..

Jeff Meyer FS staff
06/15/2011 08:18 PM

Joke is on you, Michael C! I used

I tried to get FS to spring for Rosetta Stone but they wouldnt go for it. I tried to ask some local field workers, but they reminded me that we grow corn and soybeans around here, so they didnt know either!

Bill S.
06/16/2011 10:14 AM

Most of these Top Ten lists manage to be both stupid and unfunny. This one crossed over into racism. Congratulations on crossing another frontier of bad journalism!

I shudder to think what you will write if Lewis Hamilton ever races in NASCAR.

06/16/2011 04:00 PM

Bill S— You are the racist. You are looking to assign a racial slur to something that is not there. If it was some one other than JBM you would have not climbed up your self appointed high friggin horse.

06/16/2011 08:27 PM

I get plenty of ‘diversity’ when I go to the local 7-11.
Let’s buy Waun a Slurpee-maybe it will cool him off.
And give me a break with the freaking sunglasses, please. Brian France is all the pimp we need.


Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

Voices From The Cheap Seats: The Tale Of Two Tires
BSNews! Bruton’s Plans Extend Beyond Bristol’s Track
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Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.