The Frontstretch: Top Ten Things NASCAR’s Chief Appellate Officer Ruled On Tuesday by Jeff Meyer -- Wednesday March 21, 2012

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“While we’re here, Jimmie, let’s face it. That beard is a significant aerodynamic disadvantage. Why do you think they don’t call you ‘Six-Time’?”

10. Denver Broncos’ management has more money than brains. Then, after a few minutes he actually remembered what sport he was supposed to be working on!

9. Rescinded the penalty of “quality time with significant other” for Chad Knaus.

8. Determined that yes, a wing on the back of a car helps force it airborne when going backwards. There’s no way NASCAR should try that… oh wait…

7. Officially ruled that any Waltrip in a broadcast booth can be very annoying.

6. O.J. did it.

5. Yeah, Jeremy Mayfield is pretty much guilty, too.

4. Daytona to Phoenix to Las Vegas to Bristol to Fontana really is a pretty stupid schedule setup.

3. In the real world, Jeff Gordon would have at least five championships and Jimmie wouldn’t.

2. Miss Terri DeBris holds the record for attending the most ever NASCAR races.

1. Said Jimmie Johnson doesn’t actually have to “work” to make the Chase after all.

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jmoney
03/21/2012 10:09 AM
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I hope you didn’t get paid for this!

Bill
03/21/2012 06:17 PM
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Number 3 is SPOT ON.

DoninAjax
03/21/2012 08:07 PM
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Sometimes you come up with a gem and no. 3 is it. No. 4 is right too, but nobody said NASCAR’s scheduler had any idea how to make one up.

old farmer
03/22/2012 01:54 AM
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jmoney is right-on. I’m not sure anything in this column has ever been humorous.

 

Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

Voices From The Cheap Seats: The Tale Of Two Tires
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Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.