The Frontstretch: Top Ten Plans NASCAR Had For The World's Largest Lottery Jackpot by Jeff Meyer -- Wednesday April 4, 2012

Go to site navigation Go to article

Hey readers, picture-lookers, know-it-alls, budding comedians, people who think they’re funny, and cats walking on the keyboard…now is your chance to shine, put your keyboard where your mouth is or fall flat on your face!

Obviously, we don’t all share the same sense of humor. If that were the case, I’d be even more popular and charming than I already am. Having shared those facts with you, I want to announce a slight change to the format of the Top Ten List on the weeks that I author it.

Starting with this list, and using the same topic, if you think YOU could do better, you are invited and encouraged to send YOUR changes to the list to me, via the contact link at the bottom of the page.

I will go through the submitted entries and choose a winner (or possibly winners… the editors and I are still hashing those details out). The winner will, at the very least have his/her list published on this page. Their MAY be some trivial prizes awarded, but rest assured that any prize will not be of such value as to get you into the doghouse with the IRS should you choose not to claim it. So without further ado, let’s get started!

Top Ten Reasons The Top Ten List Will Be Able To Be Fixed By You (At Least Every Other Week!)

10. Ahhh, screw it! I can’t really think of ten reasons, so let’s just skip to number 1!

1. I’m just dying, after all his (could be ‘her,’ I ‘spose) criticism, to see just how damn funny this “old farmer” can be! (Don’t know who “old farmer” is? Check out all my old Top Ten lists and you’ll figure it out.)

Let’s try another topic, shall we?

Top Ten Plans The NASCAR World Had For the World’s Largest Lottery Jackpot

10. Chad Knaus had some officials to take care of.

“Damn it, I really needed a new razor…”

9. If that didn’t work, Chad Knaus had some officials “to take care of.”

8. Brian France hoped to hire that guy who did so good with that king in “The King’s Speech.”

7. Jeremy Mayfield hoped to hire a new lawyer.

6. All ISC racetracks had planned to upgrade to jet blowers with no Target on them.

5. I was gonna buy this website and fire everyone, starting with myself, so I could stop writing these insufferable lists!

4. Kyle and Kurt Busch were gonna… never mind, even that kind of money couldn’t buy them a new personality.

3. Keep Cousin Carl in toothpaste for a year.

2. Somebody named “Old Farmer” planned to… see Number 5.

1. Anyone could have followed the old adage, ”If you want to make a small fortune in NASCAR, start with a large one!”

So there ya have it, folks. Get out your thinking caps, or funny bones or whatever it is you use to tickle your fancy and fix this list!

You MUST remember, and the editors even remind me, especially me, that we try to run a “family” website. Use your common sense and… well, I shouldn’t have to spell it out for anyone.

Fix the Top Ten!

Contact Jeff Meyer

NASCAR NEWS, RIGHT TO YOUR INBOXAND IT’S FREE.
The Frontstretch Newsletter, back in 2014 gives you more of the daily news, commentary, and racing features from your favorite writers you know and love. Don’t waste another minute – click here to sign up now. We’re here to make sure you stay informed … so make sure you jump on for the ride!

Today on the Frontstretch:
Championship Caliber? What Does That Even Mean?
Mirror Driving: Winning Vs. Points, Needing a Boost, and The Lady’s Last Dance?
Nuts for Nationwide: The Curious Case of Elliott Sadler
Happiness Is…Arrogance, Less, Next, and the Outdoors
Frontstretch Foto Funnies: It’s Not Gonna Fit…
FREE NEWSLETTER! CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP

 

©2000 - 2008 Jeff Meyer and Frontstetch.com. Thanks for visiting the Frontstretch!

Kevin in SoCal
04/04/2012 01:07 PM
permalink

What, no mention of blowing up ACS in Fontana and moving Irwindale Raceway to its spot instead? Or was that too easy?

old farmer
04/05/2012 01:18 AM
permalink

Thanks for the mention. However, lame again.

 

Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

Voices From The Cheap Seats: The Tale Of Two Tires
BSNews! Bruton’s Plans Extend Beyond Bristol’s Track
Top Ten Reasons Fans Failed To Show Up At Bristol Sunday
BSNews! NASCAR CEO Given "Special" Award Amidst Lavish Fanfare
Fan Coun-ci-What? Just What Is It That NASCAR Wants To Study?

Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.