The Frontstretch: Top Ten Ways NASCAR CEO Brian France (et al) Plan to Add ‘NASCAR Flavor’ at Mitt Romney’s Fundraiser by Jeff Meyer -- Wednesday August 15, 2012

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(Press release) Republican Mitt Romney’s Wednesday fundraiser in Charlotte will have a distinct NASCAR flavor. The event at the Duke Mansion is chaired by NASCAR CEO Brian France and his wife Amy. Co-chairs include NASCAR President Mike Helton and team owners Richard Childress, Rick Hendrick and Felix Sabates as well as driver Jamie McMurray.(Charlotte Observer / USA Today)

Rick Hendrick promises to provide a hilarious bearded clown for the evening’s entertainment.

10. Rick Hendrick will donate a small percentage of Dale, Jr’s winnings…in exchange for possible future Presidential Pardons

9. Jamie McMurray will appear on stage and pull a rabbit out of Mitt Romney’s as….er, hat.

8. Felix Sabates will allow all future campaign slogans to use his name, i.e. ‘Romney and Ryan (with Felix Sabates)

7. Richard Childress will let all presidential limos bear the infamous ‘3’ on their doors.

6. Brian France initiates an investigation funded by NASCAR to figure out just who this Paul Ryan guy is.

5. France has agreed to perform one of his eloquent orations for which he is so well known.

4. France’s wife, Amy, will sit there and look pretty as she calculates how much she’ll get when she divorces him.

3. In an effort to fill seats, Mike Helton offers free tickets to an event of their choice in 2013 to anyone who can prove they voted for Romney come November.

2. Helton vows to shave off his cheesy mustache with a Romney / Ryan win in November.

1. Brian France admits that, if there is one thing to be learned from NASCAR’s failed ‘Diversity Program’, it’s to just go ahead and support the whi….other guy!

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Carl D.
08/15/2012 08:51 AM
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“5. France has agreed to perform one of his eloquent orations for which he is so well known.”

Unfortunately that will probably happen, providing John Stewart plenty of good material for the Daily Show.

 

Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

Voices From The Cheap Seats: The Tale Of Two Tires
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Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.