The Frontstretch: Top Ten Things Tony Stewart Really Wanted to Throw at Matt Kenseth by Jeff Meyer -- Wednesday August 29, 2012

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Freakin’ Mr. Perfect Johnson with his five trophies and his perfect wife and his perfect beard—throwing him in traffic would kill two birds with one stone…

10. Originally, he wanted to throw a contract offer his way but now is glad he didn’t.

9. A piece of ‘mystery debris’ but, as is the bane of the networks, was unable to find any.

8. An invitation to a ‘after race party’.

7. A giant turkey leg like the one he had in his car but he’d be damned if he was gonna throw his own!

6. Hang out on the track and throw a few safety workers’ helmets as well.

5. A knuckle sandwich.

4. Just an example of what his employee, Danica was gonna do later in the race.

3. A one fingered salute with both hands but alas, his hands were full of helmet.

2. The beer can that had been rolling around for about a half hour between turns 1 and 2 before officials finally noticed it.

1. Some hot lead but realized too late that he had forgotten to fill out the Tennessee forms for a ‘temporary permit to carry!

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Sherri T
08/29/2012 09:48 AM
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LOL

SHOEMAN
08/29/2012 11:09 AM
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Things are never dull when Tony thinks he has been wronged. GO SMOKE!!!

Old farmer
08/29/2012 11:11 AM
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And yesterday we were promised a good one this week.

Still waiting on it— this obviously wasn’t it.

rich
08/29/2012 12:16 PM
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+1 on #9

Joe..
08/29/2012 02:12 PM
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Damn, I hate to admit it but I’ll have to side with Old farmer today.

Bob
08/31/2012 01:00 AM
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Attn. Frontstretch Staff: Do not attempt to write a “top ten” again. This is Meyers domain

cglrcng
09/03/2012 06:36 PM
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Meyer,

‘Freakin’ Mr. Perfect Johnson did get thrown into traffic, just a mere week later by the 22 Car Driver.

Think that Speed Center mic holding doing pretty good replacement (for a drug relieved Dinger), driver reads the FS? I’m sure he does. Follows orders well too. i’d watch out though at Richmond, I hear Freakin’ Mr. Perfect is taking lessons from Danica. “Into the wall w/ the 22! @ Richmond”

That Top 10 was great.

 

Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

Voices From The Cheap Seats: The Tale Of Two Tires
BSNews! Bruton’s Plans Extend Beyond Bristol’s Track
Top Ten Reasons Fans Failed To Show Up At Bristol Sunday
BSNews! NASCAR CEO Given "Special" Award Amidst Lavish Fanfare
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Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.