The Frontstretch: BSNews: New NASCAR Movie Plot Unveiled! by Jeff Meyer -- Friday October 4, 2013

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BSNews: New NASCAR Movie Plot Unveiled!

Jeff Meyer · Friday October 4, 2013

 

This update just in from Stu Padasso, Editor at Large, BSNews Super Important Entertainment division (since he is at large, anyone with information regarding the actual whereabouts of Stu is asked to call (555) 867-5309).

“…But we don’t know anyone like that or anything…”

UPDATE: So what’s this new NASCAR movie about? Here’s how producer Neal Edelstein, who’s working with NASCAR Vice President Zane Stoddard on the project, described in broad terms what he termed the “underdog story…”

“The story is about kind of a misfit kid who was into racing as a youth because of his father’s passion for the sport. And his father’s impending death … thrust him unwillingly to the head of the sport and he’s a bit of a boner now, kind of on the fringes, [doing] dirt-bag riding (according to his divorce lawyer), doing odd things involving a Lexus, a soft drink and a palm tree, and drug testing and brand marketing. So it becomes really his journey to kind of harness his public speaking ability, harness his emotions, and he gets back into the sport and the bottle … with the help of some people his father was involved with,” Edelstein said. Stoddard added that the driver in the story has “No inherent skill that his dad might have passed on. But he’s turned his back on the sport as a result of his dad’s wealth. It would be a contemporary movie and its working title is ‘Funding Greed.’”

Originally titled “Life of Brian,” NASCAR Vice President Stoddard was visibly upset when told a film of that title already existed.

And now, for some more clippings found on the BSNews! cutting room floor…

New Busch nose approved: NASCAR Vice President of Competition Robin Pemberton said that a new nose on Kyle Busch was approved for next season. “He needed a grille update for next year,” Pemberton said. “The (wind-tunnel) results looked to be favorable. It doesn’t do anything aero-wise but it just helps with the debris. It stuck out and was a lot longer than the others. More times than not, it was harder for him to get the debris out of the nose more than the other drivers.”

Hamlin trying new treatment to avoid back surgery: #11 – Denny Hamlin is trying a new treatment on his injured back in an effort to avoid offseason surgery. Nude Sprint girls walking on his spine the past two weeks have helped, but he won’t know until the season ends if he’s made enough progress to skip surgery and earn a happy ending. “These last two weeks, I’ve gotten some treatment done, and I’ve felt as good as I did before the accident,” he said. “Now, the 10 races before that, I felt horrible. I had to get out of the car at Richmond during practice because I just couldn’t handle it anymore, and there’s been several instances where it was really, really bad. But this is hopefully going to buy me enough time and credits to get healthy and have a happy ending.”

UPDATE: From 5-Hour ENERGY Facebook Page: This week, the 5-Hour ENERGY team met after the New Hampshire race to discuss our future with Michael Waltrip Racing. While our original plan was to announce the status of our sponsorship at the end of the year, this timeframe left many concerned about their future. There are scores of passionate fans, numerous charitable organizations, and hundreds of hard-working MWR employees and their families who are directly impacted by 5-Hour ENERGY’s NASCAR sponsorship. After several bottles of 5-Hour ENERGY, internal discussions and meetings with MWR, we are prepared to announce our decision ahead of schedule. 5-Hour ENERGY will be back as a sponsor of MWR and Clint Bowyer for 2014. We look forward to another great year of competitive racing. Go 15!

And now, for some personal advice to Sam Hornish, Jr. from Stu Padasso himself.

…Hornish said he has begun shopping his services to rival team owners in the garage area. “And what I get is they have no idea I’m available,” he said. “The comments I get from people I do talk to are like, ‘We just put something together you would have been a great candidate for.’“…

Sam, trust me. This may be hard to hear, but someone has to lay it right out there and having heard the same line from Frontstretch.com many years ago, at the beginning of my journalistic career, “We just put something together you would have been a great candidate for” is polite for, “Uhhhhh yeah, I don’t think that’s gonna happen!” Good luck, kid!

BSNews, the home of not just “a” Stu Padasso, but “the” Stu Padasso!

Your first thought is our first name!

Stay off the wall, (unless you are looking for happy endings with Sprint girls)

Jeff Meyer

Contact Jeff Meyer

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DoninAjax
10/05/2013 10:09 AM
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Maybe the title of the movie could be “Brian’s Wrong.”

 

Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

Voices From The Cheap Seats: The Tale Of Two Tires
BSNews! Bruton’s Plans Extend Beyond Bristol’s Track
Top Ten Reasons Fans Failed To Show Up At Bristol Sunday
BSNews! NASCAR CEO Given "Special" Award Amidst Lavish Fanfare
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