The Frontstretch: Top Ten Accusations/Rumors About Richard Childress Racing (This Week) by Jeff Meyer -- Tuesday September 26, 2006

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10. Their engines are sucking air.

9. Their tires are bleeding air.

8. You will be "wrongfully terminated" from RCR just for uttering the words "sucking" or "bleeding."

7. Todd Berrier was secretly sent to the No. 17 garage to "rig" their gas tank to appear 1 gallon fuller than it actually was.

6. The No. 31 team is secretly funded by a bunch of "good ‘ol boys" from the Deep South, hence the car's uncanny resemblance to the "General Lee."

5. The National Enquirer has in its possession photographs of Richard Childress and the entire NASCAR postrace inspection crew having dinner together at a Hooters in New Hampshire.

4. Todd Berrier was secretly sent to the No. 31 garage to "rig" their gas tank to BE 1 gallon fuller than it actually was.

3. Burton won because Matt Kenseth has a phobia about anyone named "Jeff" behind him.

2. Kevin Harvick reportedly quoted as asking… "What would Bob Dillner know about "rim jobs" anyway?"

1. Knowing he was financially drained from supporting his unemployed brother and his family, the other drivers decided to let Jeff Burton actually win one!

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Doug
09/27/2006 05:50 AM
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Why don’t you write the top ten reasons JR. sucks at racing, starting with #1. BEING DRUNK!

Mark
09/27/2006 06:04 AM
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Doug, you just don’t get it do you? You are not a fan. You do not bash other drivers if you call yourself a fan. Here’s an idea, watch figure skating, it seems to be more your style.

angie
09/27/2006 06:55 AM
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Oh Doug, you are so funny. How long did it take you to come up with that? Five, Six Bud Lights?

AfterShock
09/27/2006 07:22 AM
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Does Richard Childress use “bleeder valves” on the projectiles his bullet launcher launches too?

And, if so, is that “cheating”?

I hear Richard uses old Budweiser cans for target practice. Then recycles the aluminum for C.O.T. bodies.

But he doesn’t consume the contents of said cans. That would give a whole new perspective to the term “bleeder valve”. Ya reckon?

Mathematically = one in—two trips to the porta-potty. Funny how that works.

THIS buds for YOU Jeff!

Chanda
09/30/2006 12:22 PM
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Great one Doug! JR there thinks he’s as great as his Daddy was, but will never compare! Congrats to Jeff, it’s been a very long time coming! I loved # 3 and #1!

 

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