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Voices From The Heartland · Jeff Meyer · Thursday November 16, 2006
As longtime readers of this column know, this space is sometimes given over to a fictional entity that I lovingly call BSNews.
BSNews is just what its name implies…pure BS. It is a satirical take on the often absurd world of NASCAR. Normally, if the world hadn't gone completely mad sometime last week, the following topics would be ideal fodder for the fictional reporters at BSNews. Unfortunately, what you are about to read is absolutely, completely, utterly, cross my heart TRUE. It is no BS, even though that will be the first thought that crosses your mind as you read it.
On Monday, November 6th, a woman named Shirley Hill was witness to a vehicle that, in her estimation, was driving erratically and recklessly in a Daytona Beach parking lot. Ms. Hill promptly dialed 911 to report the actions of said vehicle.
In her statement to Police, Ms. Hill says she witnessed the vehicle driving at a "very reckless speed", and hit a parked car. The vehicle then hit a tree and proceeded on to the parking garage of a nearby condominium, were a man exiting the vehicle, "fell over his own feet", according to Ms. Hill.
Daytona Beach Police Chief, Mike Chitwood, describes Ms. Hill as a "very credible" witness and with good reason. She has no reason to lie. At this point she is just reporting to police what she has just seen. She would have no idea who the man driving the vehicle is.
The man in question is in fact, NASCAR CEO Brian France.
Officers of the Daytona Beach PD, who spent an hour and a half with France after they were called to the scene, said they DID NOT administer a field sobriety test to Mr. France because they had NO PROBABLE CAUSE! (This is where the thought, BS! enters the mind.)
France tells the officers the Coke (not a soda or a pop, but COKE) he was drinking, spilled in his lap, momentarily diverting his attention from the road while claiming he “bumped into something.”
So, to sum it all up, here you have two officers of the law, talking to a man for an hour and a half, who was just seen stumbling from his Lexus after hitting a parked car and a tree and looks like he just peed his pants. No probable cause? BS! Try that Coke excuse here in Iowa, Brian, or better yet, try it on some of Joe Arpaio's deputies in Phoenix!
Was Brian France drunk? He knows the truth, I know the truth and so do millions of other NASCAR fans. We ain't that stupid.
Police Chief Chitwood is investigating whether preferential treatment may have been given Mr. France because of his name and vows to terminate the officers involved if it was. My guess is, two ex-Daytona Beach Police officers will soon be given cushy jobs in NASCAR's Security Department.
I wonder how many bonus points you get for mentioning Coke in an official police report. Too bad Bacardi is not an official NASCAR sponsor! And speaking of â€˜Official NASCAR sponsorshipâ€¦’
I'm in the checkout line at the local Wal-Mart Supercenter the other day, and what do I see? Among the items being bought by the lady in front of me is a large plastic bag with a checkered flag design with the NASCAR logo plastered on it. Naturally, being a senior writer for an immensely popular racing website, it caught my attention, and I moved in for a closer look.
What I saw totally blew my mind! There, moving down the rubber belt about to be scanned was an "Officially Licensed by NASCAR" ten pound bag of RUSSET POTATOES! Yes, you read right. POTATOES!
So shocked was I, by the absurdity of Officially Licensed by NASCAR potatoes, I damn near spilled my Coke in my lap as I left the parking lot.
Stay off the wall, (and remember, Don't Drink and Drive! You might hit a bump and spill it!)
©2000 - 2008 Jeff Meyer and Frontstetch.com. Thanks for visiting the Frontstretch!
NASCAR attendence down. Lets look at some of the real reasons.
Racing was born in the South and now Brian France has moved it up North and out West where the large consumer markets are.It’s all about the $$$$$$$$$ These are fickle fans unlike the loyal Southerners who grew the sport to where it is today. Trying to eliminate the Confederate flag from the races is an insult to every Southerner with Confederate ancestors. These are our REAL heroes. The flag is not keeping minorities from attending the races as Brian France might lead you to believe. Take a look at the ticket prices. DUH !!!If He was passionate about getting these people to the track,he would be out giving away 5000 tickets to the kids in the projects. Has anyone seen this happen? I didn’t think so. Dale Earnhardt’s quote of “anyone who flies a confederate flag is ignorant” was the straw that broke the camels back for me.
Capital of the Confederacy
I am reserving any judgement on Brian France’s incident until there are some official facts available. I resented it when Kurt Busch was crucified in advance of (and in contradiction to), the evidence and I’m not doing it to someone else.
I’ve seen the Nascar potatoes and Nascar carrots and Nascar hot dogs as well. I laughed a little, but I’ll buy them if the price is right or not buy them if the price isn’t right.
As for Grayson Jennings’ comments,
I am sick and tired of hearing myself relegated to second-class status because I was born in the North. I guess we yankees are supposed to crawl on our knees and beg for Nascar crumbs from those god-like beings who have an inherent right to never have anything they love change in any way.
Didn’t your mommies teach you to share your toys before you even got to kindergarten?
News flash — this is the US, there are no second-class citizens here, and those who were born outside the south have as much right to watch and love racing as you have.
Your take is right on!!! I cannot understand why it has taken so long for any writers to jump on this—with all the alcohol related sponsorships and the fact it was MR Brian France—Yes Sir that tree and parked car just jumped right out in front of him—are you kidding me—and to think a crew member of Rigg’s was suspended indefinitely by NASCAR for shoving Harvick- and that probably happens every week—-For sure, NASCAR has its double standards
Those Daytona Beach cops didn’t bother with FST’s because a prosecutor wouldn’t touch the case. All Brian France had to do was claim he had a few drinks after the accident to steady his nerves. I hope he gets some “chug points” for the Coke p[lug
Potatoes? How about Nascar Bacon at Walmart Un’friggin’believable! Creating the Nascar BRAND is one thing, but come on let’s keep it out of places where it simply doesn’t belong! Next thing you know, there will be a shameless Nascar plug on the rear of Huggies diapers or Depends! Now for the other thing….I’m a midwestern gal. I love Nascar (15 years), but totally believe track prices are too high, the hotels are charging exhorbitantly high prices and Toyata and the Car of Tomorrow DON’T belong in Nascar! Oh yeah…and anyone who believes France was drinking a straight-up Coke….was born yesterday!
Have to agree with you Jeff, for sometime now I’ve been amazed at all the “Official NASCAR” products out there. Some I could understand..car products..stuff like that. But potatos? bacon? I’m not even sure how this came to be really..I’d love to have been part of that brain-storming marketing session. I’m sure the woman you saw buying the potatos only bought them as she was a NASCAR fan..“Gee..I really don’t like potatos but man, Harvick_is running good..”
Is Mike Chitwood related to Joey Chitwood President of Indianapolis Motor Speedway??
I haven’t seen any proof that Brian was the actual driver. Maybe it was his boy toy?
Hey Brian, you better watch out, Jack Roush will fire you
If France isn’t charged with reckless driving, and hit, and run, he should at least be charged with leaving the scene.
As I recall, eating, or drinking (even non-alcoholic beverages) while driving constitutes reckless driving in Florida (doing your nails, shaving, and talking on the phone are legal, as is text messaging while driving).
Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:
Voices From The Cheap Seats: The Tale Of Two Tires
BSNews! Bruton’s Plans Extend Beyond Bristol’s Track
Top Ten Reasons Fans Failed To Show Up At Bristol Sunday
BSNews! NASCAR CEO Given "Special" Award Amidst Lavish Fanfare
Fan Coun-ci-What? Just What Is It That NASCAR Wants To Study?
Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.