The Frontstretch: Voices of Cheer for the New Year by Jeff Meyer -- Thursday February 1, 2007

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Voices of Cheer for the New Year

Voices From The Heartland · Jeff Meyer · Thursday February 1, 2007

 

Last November, about the time that NASCAR's “Silly Season” was officially declared to start, my personal life went into a “Silly Season" all its own, the seriousness of which, well…if you compared side by side pictures of Todd Bodine and myself, let’s just say that Todd appears to have a full head of hair.

After a great deal of self-examination (an exercise that I suggest you embark on with caution, as you must be prepared to deal with what you may find), I have decided that perhaps a bit more optimism and cheerfulness may be in order, to flow from the musings of this column when dealing with the world of NASCROC…I mean NASCAR. For example…

Last year, if I had been commenting about the new changes in The Chase format, I probably would have said something to the effect that, if you believe any of the mindless drivel that drips from the mouth of Brian France, you are stupider than a box of rocks. Of course, that drivel would be defined as adding 5 more points for a win, a “landmark” change that will supposedly make the Chase ten times more exciting…well, let’s just let Brian speak about it.

"The adjustments taken today put a greater emphasis on winning races," said NASCAR Chairman and CEO Brian France. "Winning is what this sport is all about. We want our sport - especially during the Chase - to be more about winning."

This year, when writing about such things, I would revise my writing to say that *"…you(r intelligence) may not quite be up to the educational level of a container of geological samples."*

Revisions of such statements, I feel, are more optimistic in a number of ways. First, it gives the readers the option, most of whom will exercise, to exclude themselves from the group it was intended to represent. Secondly, such wording will fly right over the heads of the representative populace, thus reducing the feelings of hatred that may be directed my way, resulting in a happier state of mind for all involved. Finally, and perhaps more importantly, it just sounds better and at the same time, increases my word count.

I would like to take the opportunity at this time to thank the many long time readers who have stood behind me and my “pull no punches, take no prisoners” style of writing these last few years. You are greatly appreciated!

It is my sincerest wish that you continue your patronage, and please, try to enjoy this new, more cheerful style of pointing out such things in this, the world of "the best competitive contests amongst vehicles that most closely resemble the automobiles operated by the general civilian populace of North America" (the entertainment formerly known as NASCAR, in case you are not used to this yet).

It is with the utmost earnestness that I anticipate the coming season of this, the year of our Lord, two thousand and seven.

Please refrain from impacting any structures that may be constructed adjacent to your current trajectory whilst operating a motorized vehicle.

Or, for those of you not quite ready to tackle this all at once, don't be a Johnny Sauter…

Stay off the wall!

Jeff Meyer

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Today on the Frontstretch:
Championship Caliber? What Does That Even Mean?
Mirror Driving: Winning Vs. Points, Needing a Boost, and The Lady’s Last Dance?
Nuts for Nationwide: The Curious Case of Elliott Sadler
Happiness Is…Arrogance, Less, Next, and the Outdoors
Frontstretch Foto Funnies: It’s Not Gonna Fit…
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AfterShock
02/04/2007 11:08 AM
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“ROCKS”??!!

That word can have multiple meanings, Jeff. Like; Your articles really rock!

I just hope not too many rocks are thrown over my head. Impact is essential for me to get the point.

As always, you write, I’ll read —- and let the rocks fall where they may.

Stix and stones may break my bones, but rocks get the point across.
Or, something like that.

Here’s to a great season of writing. I’m sure glad you’ll be participating.
Like Humpty Dumpty, I’ll stay off the walls.
Haa Haa, I make yolk.

 

Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

Voices From The Cheap Seats: The Tale Of Two Tires
BSNews! Bruton’s Plans Extend Beyond Bristol’s Track
Top Ten Reasons Fans Failed To Show Up At Bristol Sunday
BSNews! NASCAR CEO Given "Special" Award Amidst Lavish Fanfare
Fan Coun-ci-What? Just What Is It That NASCAR Wants To Study?

Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.