The Frontstretch: Voices From the Heartland: BS News; NASCAR to create Senior Series and more by Jeff Meyer -- Wednesday August 3, 2005

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(Daytona, FL. BS News) Top executives of NASCAR announced today that the sanctioning body plans to start a totally new series for drivers over the age of 45.
The new series, which will be sponsored AARP and officially be known as The NASCAARP Cup, will start in 2007.
"I've felt for a long time that these older guys are way past their prime," said NASCAR CEO Brian France. "I realize that racing is in their blood and a lot of them have been hanging around because there is nowhere for them to go. With the creation of the NASCAARP Cup, they will have their own series where they can race against each other for as long as they want without getting in the way of our most current popular drivers."


The new series, while allowing the veterans to race, does have some interesting new rules. For instance, the older the driver is, the bigger the car must be. While 45 to 50 year olds will be required to drive a car of a certain wheel base, such as a Monte Carlo or Taurus, 51 to 55 year olds will have to drive something like an Impala or LTD.

"In the future, we expect to see a lot of old Mercury Marquis, Electra 225s and New Yorkers out there on the track," said France. "Not only that, this isn't going to be a common template series. These guys are used to the days of 'run what ya brung', so we are pretty much going to let them do just that! Have you ever seen a little old man, who can barely see over the dash, trying to park his Gran Marquis in a crowded Wal Mart parking lot? Pit stops should be really exciting! Also, with AARP as a sponsor, none of these guys should have any problem getting affordable insurance."
All the races of the NASCAARP Cup Series will be broadcast by The History Channel.


(Daytona, FL. BS News) In its boldest move yet to achieve Total Parity (TP), NASCAR officials announced that beginning with the 2007 Sprint Cup Series season, all drivers will be 'assigned' to individual teams.


"It's not as if we (NASCAR) will actually assign a driver to a team, but more like a lottery drawing," said NASCAR president Mike Helton. "All eligible driver's names (those under 45) will be put in the proverbial hat. Owners will then take turns, determined by a separate drawing, picking names out of the hat. Every six weeks we will repeat the whole process."


Helton went on to explain that crew members such as crew chiefs will be under the control of the car owners and can be assigned to whatever driver they see fit.


"Theoretically, you might have one driver with the same team all year, but the odds of that are pretty minute. Obviously, if Rick Hendrick, just as an example, happened to draw Jimmie Johnson for more than one six week stint, he (Rick) is more than welcome to pair Chad Knause with him as many times as he wants to."


"Our goal with this lottery system, along with the Car of Tomorrow should help us achieve our goal of TP and, at the same time, save the owners an awful lot of money. We will once and for all, find out who the truly great drivers are. The winning of the Cup won't just be about who drives the best equipment, but just who drives the best," said Helton.


(BS News 8/04/05) Frontstretch.com, a leading internet site dedicated to the world of stock car racing, announced the dismissal of one of its most controversial columnists today.
"We had this guy from Iowa (I won't mention names) who was so full of BS that we just couldn't stand it no more," said site publisher Butch Bellah. "He was a heck of a nice guy, but you just couldn't be sure if he was on the level or not. To give you an example, he once wrote that "nothing was true". We found out later that he was lying! What do you do with a guy like that?"


And then I woke up!


Remember everyone...
Stay off the wall (that's no BS!)
Jeff

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©2000 - 2008 Jeff Meyer and Frontstetch.com. Thanks for visiting the Frontstretch!

Mark Rubley
08/05/2005 10:11 AM
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Now that, was funny!!!

 

Contact Jeff Meyer

Recent articles from Jeff Meyer:

Voices From The Cheap Seats: The Tale Of Two Tires
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Want to know more about Jeff Meyer or view his complete article archives? Then hop on over to his archive and bio page.