The Frontstretch: Top Ten Foreseeable Problems With NASCAR In China by Jeff Meyer -- Tuesday April 24, 2007

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Top Ten Foreseeable Problems With NASCAR In China

Frontstretch Top Ten · Jeff Meyer · Tuesday April 24, 2007

 

Author's note: Brian France and a few other top representatives of NASCAR were scheduled to fly to China on April 22nd for a weeklong trip to "discuss possible projects with government, sports, and business officials in Beijing". The following is a list of potential problems that may arise if NASCAR were to invade China. (And remember, this is an attempt at humor. Don't get all bent out of shape if a stereotype or two is used!)

10. StarvingPeasant.com not allowed to sponsor a car.

9. Colossal statues and portraits of "Chairman Brian" begin popping up everywhere at all ISC tracks.

8. NASCAR rulebook increases from 100 pages to 1,000 when translated into Chinese. (Don’t worry, it still doesn’t make any sense!)

7. Brian France mandates that all rules will be enforced with traditional Chinese Government fervor and zeal.

6. Run-of-the-mill CoTs are mass produced in China and imported here with an ultimate plan to “save the teams money.”

5. Any Chinese venue not selling out at least 500,000 tickets per wace will be dropped from the schedule.

4. Greg Biffle's dogs mysteriously disappear during a race in Beijing, never to be seen again.

3. Cars are "weewee woose in conners."

2. ISC creates an "international incident" when it attempts to buy Tiananmen Square because it is "the perfect location" for a track.

1. No. 24 fans get all bent out of shape after locally hired spotter repeatedly says, "you queer gore don, you queer" each time Jeff passes a car.

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Brian F
04/25/2007 07:21 AM
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Wow, even a toothless, clay chewing, inbred hillbilly would be offended by this column!

Steve
04/25/2007 12:07 PM
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1. No. 24 fans get all bent out of shape after locally hired spotter repeatedly says, “you queer gore don, you queer” each time Jeff passes a car.

NOW THAT IS FUNNY!!!!

Kathy
04/25/2007 12:40 PM
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Didn’t you learn anything from the Imus incident?

Chris2
04/25/2007 12:53 PM
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Have to say Jeff, as I have just returned from China last week this has got to be the worst I’ve read…I’m not sure which one is worse than the other but overall pretty offensive.

J. Meyer
04/25/2007 02:23 PM
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“Didn’t you learn anything from the Imus incident?”

Who is Imus? LOL
Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson ain’t gonna come after me. Why? There isn’t any money in it for them.

Don’t people read the “Author’s Note” all the way through at the beginning? Or do they all write letters to Letterman, too?

M. B. Voelker
04/25/2007 04:21 PM
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Saying, “Just kidding,” or “No offense meant,” doesn’t render offensive things innocuous.

aj
04/25/2007 04:26 PM
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very funny ! LIGHTEN UP PEOPLE.

Bobb
04/25/2007 04:50 PM
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Of all the scenarios to have fun with in NASCAR world, and the ways to do it… this isn’t a great effort at humor.

I guess we know how Jeff thinks…

Roger Hopwood
04/25/2007 06:21 PM
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Number 3 was just awful. How could you insult everybodys hero Elmer Fudd? Just kidding. All of it was great. Get over it people

William T.
04/26/2007 09:26 AM
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I can’t believe the audacity of some of you people with negative posts towards this list…which by the way is Freakin’ Hilarious! If you don’t like it…..don’t read it. Simple as that. What do you do when you are offended by something on TV? Change the station. Simple. There is a little “X” at the top right hand side of your browser….

P.S. Jeff – keep cranking this stuff out.

Chris2
04/26/2007 12:40 PM
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Actually William I like this site alot but I don’t care for a list that takes shots at an entire culture..not NASCAR, which is what this site is about. While Jeff states “And remember, this is an attempt at humor. Don’t get all bent out of shape if a stereotype or two is used!” He should realize that it wasn’t one or two…(as if thats o.k..), he managed in every one of them to get a stereotype in. Think of it this way, if I sat about and called you a “hillbilly-nascar-redneck that lives with his Aunt Ma” you might be offended by that on the basis that its not true, number #1, and it plays into every stereotype that has been put out there by people outside the NASCAR fanbase, number #2. It would be fair to say as I don’t know you that my calling you that would be way off base, pretty much like Jeff’s list. The NASCAR community tries to get rid of those stereotypes that are put forth from non-NASCAR types but it isn’t easy when non-NASCAR types don’t understand the NASCAR culture…not unlike Jeff not understanding the Chinese culture that he used in an attempt at humor. Jeff is usually good for a great article..this one just wasn’t it…Frontstretch is the best NASCAR site out there and an article like this won’t change my view of that.

dg
04/27/2007 09:07 AM
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I didn’t think the list was that bad.
Everyone needs to stop being sissy’s and learn to take a joke. I am so sick of everything upsetting someone. It is to the point that no one is going to be allowed to speak or write anything because someone my get there feelings hurt.

Chris2
04/27/2007 12:43 PM
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Sissy’s? Thanks for seeing this from the Asian communities point of view. As long as its not your feelings I guess its o.k…

dg
04/27/2007 01:58 PM
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People make jokes at the white community all the time and its just that a joke. I am also blonde and blonde jokes are funny. People are sissy’s for not having a sense of humor and acting like every comment in the world suppose to hurt there feelings and its not.

William T.
04/27/2007 02:22 PM
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I’m with DG on this one. Chris I would understand your point if Jeff were a bigot or an extremist portraying a message that was meant in a serious manner. It was a joke, and I am a firm believer that you can joke about anything.

 

Contact Jeff Meyer

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