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Frontstretch Staff · Wednesday July 22, 2009
10) Attempted to persuade NASCAR to impose pit road speed on entire track.
9) Tested new tire compounds on the Van Wyck Expressway in Queens … if they can handle that, they can handle anything.
8) A new, scientifically developed multi-cord, quasi-flex, rubber compound capable of withstanding several tons of inertia pressure (which doesn’t really mean anything, but it sounded good in the commercial).
7) This time, actually brought new ones, rather than the dry-rotted stacks of tires cleared out last year for warehouse space.
6) Gave up on the environmentally-friendly tire made from corn starch.
5) Brought 425,000 cases of Coca-Cola to this year’s race to increase track adhesion.
4) Had an executives’ meeting, mostly to just get all of that bitching off their chests about how Sunoco never has these problems.
3) Recently tested the ability of Fix-A-Flat to withstand a blowout with little success and some injury.
2) This time, listened to that nagging voice that says something is wrong when tires are blowing six laps into a test before heading out for breakfast.
1) Fix? What needs to be fixed? The racing was great last year!
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#11) Opened yet another OFF SHORE Bank account for Brian Farce and deposited more bribe money into that account.
Drivers and fans be damned, it’s all about the money! And ONLY the money!
Brian Farce!!! I like that Douglas!!
Thank you don mei, a perfect description and a fitting name for King Brian!
He who brings NA$CRAP to the comedy level!
How low can you go?