The Frontstretch: Top Ten Things to Say to Hurt a NASCAR Driver's Feelings by Mistie Bibbee -- Tuesday November 1, 2005

November 17th - November 21st, 2008

Monday: In the wake of Jimmie Johnson's third straight title, Tom Bowles takes a look at how a different points system might have made things just a little more dramatic heading down to the wire at Homestead in Bowles-Eye View.

Tuesday: With the season over, did your favorites finish the season red hot -- or barely lukewarm? Mike Lovecchio breaks it all down in the final edition of Who's Hot / Who's Not in Sprint Cup for 2008.

Wednesday: The Frontstretch staff looks back on the positives of the season finale at Homestead, along with the negatives of the dreaded Black Monday that went along with it in the latest edition of Mirror Driving.

Thursday: Editor's Note: This column has been postponed until Monday due to technical issues for Matt McLaughlin. NASCAR's testing ban for 2009 has race teams and fans up in arms. Matt McLaughlin Mouths Off and puts the ban under the microscope, dissecting the pros and cons of cutting costs in this way.

Friday: Jimmie Johnson has officially joined NASCAR's elite in the history books; but how will his chapter be written? Amy Henderson gives her take on Johnson's place in history in Holding a Pretty Wheel.

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Click here for all the Rick Crawford Diaries. Only on the Frontstretch

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Top Ten Things to Say to Hurt a NASCAR Driver's Feelings

Mistie Bibbee · Tuesday November 1, 2005

10. Dude, your uniform makes you look fat.

9. Wow, you’re still racing? I thought they forced drivers your age to retire.

8. Hey, isn’t your nickname "Mr. Provisional"?

7. You really think you are a racer? Man, I could beat you in my grandmother’s Ford Escort.

6. Is it true you know Dale Jr? Could you get him to autograph this hat for me?

5. I’ve had trips to the dentist that were less painful than watching you race.

4. Wouldn’t you be better equiped to star in a demolition derby?

3. Aren’t you Jimmie Johnson’s motorcoach driver?

2. Geez man… did you take one to many hits to the wall at 190 mph?

1. Autograph? No, thanks. I was just curious if I could borrow your Sharpie for a minute.

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