The Frontstretch: Top Ten Things a Crew Chief Should Never Say to the Race Leader with 2 Laps to Go by Mistie Bibbee -- Tuesday June 14, 2005

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10. Hmmm, wonder where this extra spring and screw go?

9. Lugnuts?!? They’re supposed to hold the tires on? Oooops!

8. (To the spotter) Let’s blindfold you and see how well you can spot for the next two laps.

7. Was that smoke I saw coming out of your tailpipe?

6. (To the crew) Ok guys, as soon as he pulls the car into the pits, scrape his name off from above of the driver’s door. We won’t need it there next weekend.

5. Hey, about that fuel mileage we were talking about. My math was a little off—You need to come in and pit next time around. (As the driver slows to pit) Just kidding! HAHA!

4. NASCAR said the check didn’t clear. You’re going to have to slow down and let the car in second place pass you for the lead.

3. Hmmm, I hope NASCAR doesn’t notice that we have the “special engine” in the car.

2. Anyone know who’s leading the race? I feel asleep because it’s been such a snoozer.

1. Hey, your wife is hot. You don’t mind if I ask her out to dinner next week do you?

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Recent articles from Mistie Bibbee:

Mistie Bibbee
Best of the Top Ten: Top Ten Reasons Why I am Retiring from the Frontstretch
Best of Top Ten: Top Ten Things I Learned During the Daytona 500
Best of Top Ten: Top Ten Names For Next October's Race in Charlotte
Best of Top Ten: Top Ten Polls in Which Fans are Most Likely to Vote for Jr.

Mistie no longer writes for the Frotnstch, but if you'd like to know more about her, check out her archive and bio page.